Jason and Amare 7

Stripped For Florida: Jason and Amare 7

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This work is intended for ADULTS ONLY. It may contain depictions of sexual activity involving minors. If you are not of a legal age in your locality to view such material or if such material does not appeal to you, do not read further, and do not save this story.
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JASON AND AMARE

A Stripped For Florida story in eleven parts

Part 7

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Remorse

Two hours later the squad car pulled up alongside Uncle Jim's pickup truck parked along the Gulf in Clearwater. Jim stood beside the truck, leaning against the passenger side mirror. He looked like he'd been through hell and was now relieved but exhausted. Seeing his uncle's face, Jason began to realize some of the magnitude of what he had done. As soon as the car stopped Jason tried to get out, only to find out that passengers don't exit cop cars on their own. He smiled at his own foolishness and waited patiently while the officer came around and opened the door for him. He stepped out and stood facing his Uncle.

"We've got him, sir. Found him by the side of the highway as we informed you. Took him round to check out the residence where he'd been held. I believe the man who lives there is responsible for this and is dangerous to other boys. We strongly suggest you file a report."

"Okay officer, I understand. Just give me a couple of minutes here with my nephew and I'll help in whatever way I can."

Uncle Jim reached out his arms and folded Jason into a hug.

"You're lucky to be in one piece, alive and back with your family, Jason. I'm sure you've already figured that out. There's a story behind all this, I'm sure, and you will tell me every little detail. But first, you have something much more urgent and serious to take care of. I don't know what you've been doing or what you were thinking, but I already know that you left Amaré right after you two went to the beach yesterday morning and that he was never able to catch up with you. That boy is my son and you have hurt him deeper than you can imagine. He lost everyone in this world that knew him or cared about him. I found him curled in a corner of a refugee camp and very slowly the two of us have built up a trust. Because of that trust he let himself care about you, began to share his life with one other person in this entire world. He loved you -- deeply. What you did yesterday morning was a betrayal. I don't know how long it will take for you to undo what happened, but no matter who is responsible for everything that just happened to you, you -- and you alone -- are responsible for showing your face to Amaré and doing your best to apologize. I'll help with the rest, but that boy sitting in the truck there is in horrible pain. I want you to witness that pain. Looks like I'll be taking care of police business for some time here, so get in there and don't leave."

Jason opened the door of the truck. Amaré lay curled on the seat looking like a tiny 8-year old child. Jason was shocked at how small and fragile he looked, as if he were once again in the corner of a vast camp hundreds of miles from any world he had ever known. His eyes looked white and wary out of the dark of his skin and the darkness of the night. What have I done, mourned Jason to himself, what have I done? I never thought what life was like for Amaré, what he might be feeling or how hard it might be for him to love and trust any person. I never tried to imagine what it would be like to live a full and happy life and have it all end, to have everyone I had ever known be lost, gone, murdered, or scattered across thousands of miles, never to be seen again.

Jason reached out and touched Amaré, still thinking through his own emotional turmoil. I've been in love with Amaré, but what did I really mean by that? That Amaré should be available to me and do what I felt like doing? Love meant having another person for my own pleasure, and I was disappointed that I wasn't getting the enjoyment I imagined. How have I been any different from the man who just invited me in as his guest for the evening -- who acted caring and interested, who cradled my feet and examined my hands, who fed me and gave me pleasure. But, he wanted his due in the end, because he "loved" me. I have been no different.

Hot tears rolled down Jason's face. He sobbed, holding Amaré in earnest now, "I am so sorry, Amaré, I have done wrong. Today I should not have left you -- yesterday, whatever day it was -- I should not have gone off down the beach into the day, and into the night, leaving you alone and afraid that I had abandoned you. I am so sorry." Jason's tears rolled burning down his face, dripping into Amaré's hair. "I have not been a good friend to you. I was so selfish, thinking you had to be a certain way, or do exactly what I wanted, to be my love. I do love you, Amaré, but it is a different kind of love than I knew about before tonight. I want to be your brother, your true brother. I will never leave you again. I promise."

When Jim finally finished giving his version of the night's events, filling out forms, and having his identification checked out through the police computer system it was getting close to dawn. The ocean could be made out, glimmering slightly in the dark as if anticipating the sun that was to rise on the other side of Florida. Jim opened the door of the pickup to find the two boys wrapped around one another, fast asleep. Tired, but not able to sleep, Jim started up the engine and rolled out of town, out onto the highway and north to the lonelier reaches of the middle Suwannee River. He had a lot to think over. Things had nearly gone very wrong tonight. The events had woken him up to the fact that young as they were, 14 year olds were capable of taking life by the horns, acting with passion and putting themselves at huge risk. They were old enough to make their own decisions, and young enough to lie here sleeping in complete trust that Jim would take care of them and make everything turn out right. If he had any chance of doing that, he had some fixing up to take care of in his own life.

(The End)