Do naked boys swim faster?

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This story is intended for adults only. It contains depictions of forced nudity, spanking, and sexual activity of preteen and young teen children for the purpose of punishment. None of the behaviors in this story should be attempted in real life, as that would be harmful and/or illegal. If you are not of legal age in your community to read or view such material, please leave now.

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Do naked boys swim faster?
[Alpenhorn 2018]

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A reminiscence posted on the web

Boy’s Swim Team Competed Nude,
Infront of Spectators

I’m a grandmother now, but I vividly remember this. We lived in Brooklyn, but one year we went to Ohio and spent a week with my father’s sister and her family. This was around 1955, so I was maybe 11. I had a great time with my two male cousins, one about my age and the other a year older.

My cousins were to compete in a school swim meet. Our two families went as spectators.

First up were the girl swimmers, they were wearing swimsuits. Everyone were cheering on the girls, my cousins included, who at this point were wearing shorts and T-shirts.

When the girls’ races finished it was time for the boys to compete. Their T-shirts came off, and then their shorts. Underneath, swim trunks. They dove into the water and began swimming warm-up laps. When the whistle blew, it was everyone out of the pool, the first race was about to start.

As the boys were about to line up at the waters edge, off came the trunks which were either tossed to a teammate or just to the floor. All naked. I remember looking at my dad with a ‘huh?’ expression. He explained they swam nude because they were faster naked, and added he had swam nude in college.

Everyone else in the pool house was acting just like they had when the girls had been swimming. My aunt, plus other moms, female cheerleaders, everyone. All business as usual. There were some boys who stayed in their swim trunks, so it wasn't a rule that you had to be naked. Some boys who swam nude, put on their swim trunks or shorts between races. Others, my cousins included, stayed naked until all their events were finished.

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“Dear Ms Know-It-All”, the advice column in the on-line newsletter of the Wisconsin State Science Teachers Association

From: Robert Alton, Madison Middle School, Green Bay, WI

To: Ms Know-It-All

I got myself into a dilemma. What should I do?

We have a one-semester course on “The Scientific Method” not a specific field of science. We read about it and discuss it. Then we look at some historical cases where good methods and bad methods were used in science. Then I ask the students to come up with proposals for scientific investigations of their own. A student researches the background, looks for prior work, and presents a research plan to the class. We discuss the plan; then the student may improve it and come back again. Sometimes that is the end of it; but sometimes (if it is not expensive) they actually carry out that bit of research. For example, a college donated us some time on their telescope for one of our student research projects. And one student did a psychology experiment on the class members themselves. When one of our research experiments is carried out, we have a class discussion afterward about that research: how it could be improved, what related questions come up, etc.

Here is my dilemma. Chelsea, one of the best students in the class, chose the topic “Naked Girls Swim Faster”. That was the title of a pop song by the Swedish band En Poppel. Chelsea investigated the on-line archives and found that some time around 1980, the East German national swim team is reputed to have experimented with racing nude and it’s reported that there was an average of a 1 second improvement in time over the 100 meters.

Chelsea devised a plan for such an experiment, and the class discussed it (with a lot of sniggering). But now Chelsea says: It’s inexpensive. The school has a pool. Madison, a girl in the class, is on the swim team. Let's run the experiment.

Tell me, Ms Know-It-All. What should I do?

From: Ms Know-It-All

To: Robert

Go for it.

*

Mr Alton began, ‘Today Chelsea will report on her experiment.’

Murmurs and cat-calls.

‘Class, please. Let’s conduct ourselves in a dignified manner. This is science, not erotica.’

The kids became quiet.

Chelsea began, ‘You all know the outline of the experiment. Here’s what we did. Mr Alton arranged for us to use the pool on Saturday morning early, before anyone else would be there. He stayed outside and guarded the door, so no one would come in. I timed Madison swimming down the pool and back. Once with her swimsuit, and once without.’

Chelsea had a slide prepared on the computer, and projected the results on the screen. ‘So, as you can see here, she was faster without her suit.’

Applause from the class.

‘Discussion?’ Mr Alton said.

‘If our swimmers go naked they will win more swim meets,’ said Arthur. Everyone laughed.

‘And they will get more spectators,’ said Steve.

‘OK, settle down,’ said Mr Alton.

‘Shouldn’t it be repeated several times, and see if the difference holds up?’

‘Good,’ said Mr Alton. ‘What else?’

‘Vary the temperature of the water.’

‘Why?’

‘To see if the difference was that she was too hot with the suit, and so without it she was cooler and swam better.’

‘Maybe far-fetched, but it could be.’

Then the bombshell. Chelsea asked innocently, ‘Do naked boys swim faster?’

‘Of course not,’ said Mark.

‘Why?’

‘Because ... um, stuff ... hanging down will slow them.’

‘Stuff?’ asked Mr Alton.

‘You know. Their wiener.’

Laughter.

‘This is a science class. We should use proper terminology. Penis. Let’s all say it together five times...’

‘Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis.’

‘Thank you. Chelsea, you can write a new proposal for us. Look for evidence in the literature.’

*

Chelsea gave her new presentation. She had found (surprising even to Mr Alton) that boys on YMCA, school, and college swim teams in the US had sometimes competed in the nude before 1970 or so. And a reason given was that it was faster.

Chelsea went for the score. She looked at a cute boy in the class. ‘Tom, you’re on the swim team, right?’

‘I am.’

‘Okay, I’ll time Tom. Swimming with and without swimsuit.’

‘Oh, no you won’t.’ He sputtered.

‘Yes, she will,’ Mr Alton said firmly.

Tom looked at Mr Alton. Mr Alton returned his best teacher’s scowl.

‘Um... But she’ll see.’

‘See?’

‘My, umm, penis.’

‘We’ll arrange something.’

Tom was sullen, but acquiescent.

*

On Monday, everyone eagerly awaited the report. Mr Alton knew they could get nothing else done first, so he called on Chelsea.

‘We got the pool again. Mr Alton guarded the door. Tom would dive in, I would start the stop-watch when his toes left the edge of the pool. He would swim to the other end, then back, and I would stop the watch when his fingers touched.’

‘But what about when he was naked?’ Madison asked.

‘For that, Tom had me sit in a chair in a certain spot directly behind him. He took off his suit at the edge of the pool, and dropped it there. I could see only his cute butt.’

Tom grumbled when she said that, but others went ‘Ooooh.’

(When he dived in I glimpsed his front, Chelsea was thinking.)

‘Then when he finished he stayed in the water to put his suit on.’

She projected the timings on the screen. Faster without the suit.

‘Discussion?’

‘That doesn’t seem logical. Why would it be?’

‘We need more information.’

‘Is it true for all boys, or just expert swimmers?’ asked Madison.

Chelsea took the hint. ‘I’ll write a new proposal on that.’

*

Chelsea described her new proposed experiment. ‘There are twelve boys in the class, and twelve girls besides me. So each boy will be timed by one of the girls, while the rest of us guard the door of the pool.’

The girls in the class were all smiling.

‘Oh, no, I won’t do it,’ said Steve.

‘Why not?’ Mr Alton asked. ‘We know you can all swim, since there is a swimming requirement here at the school.’

‘Maybe we just don’t want to,’ said Arthur.

‘Maybe you’re cowards,’ said Madison. ‘Scared of your own bodies.’

‘You are doing it for science,’ said Mr Alton, which convinced no one.

‘You can’t make us,’ said Quincy.

Chelsea had a reply prepared. ‘Remember Arthur’s psychology experiment? When Mr Alton required the whole class to participate? Well, we all know that he can make you.’

So after more grumbling it was arranged.

‘Act professionally,’ warned Mr Alton. ‘I don’t want you taking his swimsuit away while your subject is in the water.’

From their faces it seemed that two of the girls had actually planned exactly that.

*

On Monday Chelsea presented the data to us. A chart with boy’s name and timings with suit and without. Some were faster with suit, some without.

‘There seems to be no pattern,’ someone observed.

Some crazy ideas were proposed.

Then Steve said, ‘Maybe penis length.’

‘Why?’

‘Well, if we postulate that a boy would be slowed because of drag by his penis, then bigger would cause more slowing, right?’

Everyone studied the chart on the screen. Did those numbers tell whose penis was bigger?

‘Lets get the data,’ Mr Alton said.

*

So that night, the boys measured themselves, and the next day their numbers were placed to the chart. The kids read the chart eagerly.

‘This is suspicious,’ Mr Alton said. ‘I think some of you boys exaggerated your numbers.’

Boys looking guilty confirmed the suspicion.

‘Well then, we need a better method. Arthur, help me set up this screen in the back of the room. Each of the girls will take her boy behind the screen and do the measurement herself.’

The boys started objecting loudly. But Mr Alton glared, and it was agreed.

First, Madison took Steve behind the screen.

Everyone imagined Steve dropping his trousers.

They imagined Madison seeing his penis. Holding it. Measuring it.

They heard Steve yelp.

Madison called out: ‘What measurement do we want, soft or hard?’

Steve yelped again.

The class couldn’t decide, so Mr Alton called back ‘Both.’

The boys were grumbling, but Mr Alton glared at them again.

Steve yelped even louder.

Everyone imagined what Steve would do to get hard. With Madison watching.

Everyone imagined Steve’s erection. Then they imagined Madison measuring that.

When those two came out from behind the screen, Steve's face was red and Madison was grinning.

After that there were eleven more measurements. Mr Alton continued the class and let each pair go in turn while the rest of the students tried to pay attention to the other topics.

*

The next morning, Chelsea had a new chart. She distributed copies to the class.

‘Study these tonight, and see if you can find a pattern. A correlation or something.’

The charts showed: boy’s name, swim time with suit, swim time nude, penis length soft, penis length hard.

The kids certainly all studied the charts that night. Perhaps some of them really did look for correlations. But of course most of them were eagerly examining the intimate data about the boys.

Some boys worried that the chart would get out to the whole school.

Each of them (but one) was disappointed that he was not the longest. And, still more, was disappointed that everyone in the class knew it.

*

Next morning. Mr Alton asked the kids for their conclusions. No correlation was found.

‘Okay, we have no conclusion.’

The boys sat still, hoping that was the end of their humiliation.

But of course Chelsea popped up with a new thought.

‘Would having spectators make a difference?’

That was when the boys mutinied.

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A reminiscence posted on the web

I am male. I did swim nude at swim meets with spectators. I was 15 and swam on the YMCA summer swim team and we always competed naked. Mothers, sisters and girls I knew from school and church were in the audience including several women teachers I knew.

At the first meet when I walked out and saw everyone, I was a little uncomfortable knowing I was naked. But by the end it didn't bother me at all.

I had the courage after the meet to go over to where the spectators were and talk to my girl friend and other girls I knew just like I would if I was wearing a swimsuit.

There were four meets in all. A lot of girls, women and even women teachers I knew attended.

It was interesting to go to school that fall and sit in class with girls who had seen me naked.

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