Liam 6 to 10

By briefsboy14

briefsboy14@yahoo.com

Copyright 2025 by briefsboy14 all rights reserved

[6,795 words]

LIAM

By briefsboy14

briefsboy14@yahoo.com



SUMMARY

Mark has almost finished his first year of A-levels and is looking forward to the summer holidays. Although only seventeen, he also looks forward to a pint with his best mate Liam at the weekends. The story takes place at a time when fake ID could always get you a pint somewhere and is set in the UK.



CHAPTER 6: WHY DID I EVER JOIN THAT RUNNING CLUB?

“Well I must say Mark, I didn’t expect the morning to turn out like this… it was quite a surprise when I saw your naked bottom disappearing into the laundry room… but it was a nice surprise nonetheless. I’m just letting you know that if you want to be nude at home you can be, I’m not a prude and, like I said, I’ve seen it all before and I’m sure you’ve nothing to be ashamed of. I just want you to be happy… okay?”

“MUM!!! I don’t want to go around… you know… NAKED!”

“I’m just saying Mark, it wouldn’t bother me and I’m happy to have a chat with your sister about it if you’d like me to… I’m sure she won’t mind either…”

“MUM!!! It was an accident… okay? I didn’t think anyone was up and didn’t see the point of putting my boxers on”

“Why not?… actually Mark… aren’t you going to put some on under your shorts before you go out? There are some in the pile over by the kettle”

“What?”

“Well I mean… well… you do wear something under your shorts when you go out… don’t you?”

“No… err… I can’t... what I mean is… my shorts, my boxers you know… they’re too big, they’d stick out of my shorts so I don’t wear… umm… that’s why I didn’t put any on before I came down to get my shorts, the running ones… like I said I thought no one was up and…”

“Mark! You mean to tell me all this time you’ve been running around outside in your shorts with nothing on underneath? Good grief! You are an exhibitionist!!!”

“I’M NOT! They’re just shorts and they’ve got a lining thing, so…”

“What if someone saw you Mark? What if you had an accident? What would people think at the hospital if you weren’t wearing any underpants? Why didn’t you ask me to get you some briefs or something…”

“I’m not five Mum! No one wears briefs anymore!”

“Of course they do! They wouldn’t make them for boys your age if no one wore them! Stand up for me, let me have a look at your shorts…”

“It’s fine Mum!”

“STAND UP NOW! You really must wear something underneath them… what if your little willy fell out of the legs of your shorts? Not that they’ve got any legs… they’re quite short… it’s fine if you want to be naked at home but you can’t go round showing off to everyone in the neighborhood!”

“I don’t want to be nak…”

“UP NOW! I’m not asking you, I’m telling you… let me have a look at your shorts… GET UP MARK!… God help us if your sister wakes up with all this fuss going on… she’s not a morning person as you very well know!”

“Alright! Alright!… but I’m not wearing briefs Mum!”

“Don’t be so silly… who sees your underwear?”

“Well no one… well only at home… I suppose you and Laura do”

“Exactly, and you’ve been wandering round the house for years in front of me and your sister in just your boxers and it’s never bothered you or either of us. Now let’s see… hmm… you know I never quite realised how brief your shorts really are, the inseam can only be an inch or two at most… they do show off your lovely legs though…”

“MUM! Don’t touch me!”

“Stop acting like a little boy Mark… I was just admiring how smooth they are, you’ve not got much hair on them at all… actually you haven’t got any… I just assumed you had very fair hair but… they’re just like when you were… maybe you are still a little boy! Is that why you still want to run around naked?”

“MUM!!!”

“What? You were happy walking around naked just a moment ago and now you’re getting all embarrassed about me looking at your legs”

“I’m not embarrassed!”

“You sound like you are!”

“Can I sit back down now?”

“Hang on… let me just check…”

“MUM!… fucking hell… what…”

“WILL YOU QUIT BEING DIFFICULT! Stand still… I’m just checking… goodness me!… the sides of your shorts are split all the way to waistband Mark… I can see your willy!”

“WHAT?????!!!!!”

“Well no; I can’t actually see it… but the inner brief of these shorts is only a mesh material and it’s a bit… a bit… oh Mark… err… don’t worry… I’ll have to get you some briefs to wear with your shorts… you can sit down now… and don’t think I didn’t hear you… please do not swear; it’s very uncouth”

“I’m not wearing briefs… can’t you buy me some new shorts… like you know… longer ones and I’ll just wear my boxers… you don’t…”

“Don’t be silly, your shorts still fit you and they’re practically brand new… a few pairs of briefs won’t cost that much and will be a lot cheaper than replacing all of your shorts, besides aren’t those the proper ones for runners? You wore them when you ran for the club”

“I just need one new pair of shorts… it’s not like you need to replace all of them!”

“Oh really? One pair? Who does the washing around here? You go running at least three times a week and you think I’ll wash your sweaty shorts every time you’ve been for a run? Money doesn’t grow on trees Mark. You’ve got the proper shorts for running, all you need is the appropriate underpants to wear underneath them. Even one pair of new shorts would cost a lot more than a few pairs of briefs. There’s only one breadwinner in this house and I provide everything for you - including money so you can go out with your mates and get drunk. That’s right… I pay for that too. I’m not going out every Friday night drinking am I?… but you are!”

I’m on a losing wicket here.

“That’s not fair Mum! You know since moving to the new sixth form college I don’t see my mates much during the week anymore!”

“I understand that, but it was your choice to move schools. I know you still need to see your old friends; which is why I give you money for going out. Look, I’m not being unreasonable here… you’ve always worn those type of shorts for running, and no doubt they’ll fit you for a few more years, you’ve got enough pairs to wear in-between me, yes… me not you, doing the weekly laundry…”

“Just one pair of new shorts please!”

“NO MARK! Tell me, why should I spend good money on new shorts that you don’t need just so your boxers won’t stick out from the legs of them, when you can carry on wearing what you’ve already got with a pair of briefs under them? YOU TELL ME IF I’M BEING UNREASONABLE!”

Silence.

“I’m waiting for an answer Mark”

“Okay fine! Just get some then! But I’m only wearing them with my shorts… just for running!”

“That wasn’t so difficult, was it? You’re seventeen and acting like a child over something as normal as underwear. Briefs, boxers… they’re all the same! I’m sure there’s a stall at the Market that sells them… I’ll see what they’ve got… really you should’ve told me you needed some… fancy running round all this time like an accident waiting to happen! I’m sure lots of boys wear…”

“MUM! Just get something normal okay… please Mum! Black ones or something… nothing too…”

“Don’t worry Mark… they’re only briefs! I’ll get you some new boxers too as most of yours have seen better days… now, when you’re done please pop both mugs in the dishwasher before you go off on your run… and for goodness sake do try and keep your little willy in your shorts, I don’t want the police knocking on the door!”

“MUM!”

“I’m only joking Mark! I’m sure it get’s bigger! I’ll see you later, enjoy your run Love!”

“MUMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Oh stop being so dramatic! I didn’t see it! Boys and their willies! Getting all shy over if I saw it or not… if you’re going to go round in the nude you need to stop worrying about that!”

How had I got into this mess?

I’m seventeen and mum’s off to buy me fucking briefs! Admittedly my running shorts were rather short but she’d never had a problem with me wearing them before - and she must have known I couldn’t wear my boxers with them?

I got up, put the mugs in the dishwasher and grabbed the other pairs of shorts and singlets from the pile along with a couple of pairs of my boxers, I would put them in my room; I wasn’t chancing a repeat of this morning ever again.

Looking at the shorts, they were a very high and quite revealing cut. I put my clothes back down on the counter and pulled up the sides of the ones I had on, the split did indeed go right to the waistband but the mesh inner brief at least covered my penis. It was obvious something was inside the material but you couldn’t exactly see it.

I really did hope mum hadn’t seen anything, looking down I thought she couldn’t have but then again she’d been at eye level with my shorts… and she had called my penis ‘little’. I hope that’s purely a term of endearment!

I needed to get a move on if I wanted to avoid the rain; put my clean clothes upstairs, grab my trainers and… and… actually… mum was right.

I slipped off my red shorts and reached for the green pair…

“I nearly went without my purse, I’d forget my head if it wasn’t…”

“MUMMM!”

“What’s the matter Mark?”

“I… I… I thought you’d gone!”

“I see you’re going to wear the green ones after all - you’ll look very smart out on your run”

“Err… yeah”

“I’ll see you later then… oh, and Mark?… don’t forget to put your shorts on before you go out and now that I’ve seen your willy it’s one less thing for you to worry about, you’re perfect just the way you are. There’s no need for you to be embarrassed about it”

Shocked at her return I hadn’t even thought to cover up.

Fucking sambuca!



CHAPTER 7: RAIN STOPS PLAY

I’d been running for about an hour when the heavens opened without warning; the rain was much earlier than had been predicted. My thin nylon shorts and singlet offered no protection whatsoever, and as I’d hoped to finish my run before the rain came I hadn’t bothered with my waterproof running jacket. There was a cafe up road and I thought I’d nip in for a drink before I got completely drenched and wait for a break in the weather before heading home.

A minute later I ducked under the awning of the cafe. By now I resembled a drowned rat and started trying to unpick the material that was plastered to my skin, showing every lump and bump of the few parts of my body that it actually covered.

There was a knocking at the window and I turned to see Liam sitting inside the cafe grinning inanely and pointing at me; before mouthing ‘you wanna cup of tea?’. I nodded yes and gave a thumbs up in reply, and then attempted to wipe the worst of the rain from my arms and legs. Hopefully he was paying as I suddenly realised I didn’t have any money on me.

“I’ve ordered a tea for you mate… your mum said you were going for a run this morning, looks like you timed it bad hey?”

“You’ve seen my mum?”

“Yeah, she was walking into town… off to the Market she said for a ‘bit of shopping’… we had ‘a bit of a chat’ too”

“What did she say?”

“Nothing really mate”

“What did she say Liam?”

“Let’s put it this way… I can tell you’re not wearing any boxers under those shorts!”

“She’s so fucking embarrassing!”

“Nah… she’s cool mate”

“She’s not your mum… you don’t have to live with her!”

“Anyway… listen mate… I gave her a few pointers on what to get you… she said you needed new boxers too… here comes your tea, I’ve paid for it… sorry I can’t stop… I’ve gotta get going, my mum needs me to give her a hand with something”

“Liam… my mum… err… she didn’t say anything else did she?”

“Like what?”

“I dunno… like… erm…”

“Nah… just that you’re always going round at home in just your boxers”

“Fuck off! Like you don’t!”

“Not me mate… oh by the way, I’m going for swim tomorrow down the leisure centre… you up for it?”

“Yeah okay… why not”

“Good… because I asked your mum earlier and she’s going to give us a lift”

“Are you trying to organise my social life? You do know the real reason I went to the other college was to get away from you?”

“Yeah right! Meet you at 6pm later… Duck in the Pond or The Black Horse?”

“The Black Horse”

“I’ll see you there… I’ve finished with the paper… you might as well have a read and wait and see if the rain eases up. Have a look at the TV listings for tonight… program on Channel 4 you might be interested in. So… The Black Horse, 6pm; don’t be late”

“Cheers for the tea mate… anyone else coming out tonight?”

“I’M already out Mark! So that just leaves you babes!”

“In your fucking dreams mate! First you’re discussing my pants with my mum, then you’re arranging for her to take us swimming and now you want to turn a night in pub into a cozy date for two… I’ll bet you’ve arranged that with her too?”

“Well she seemed very happy when I said I’d make sure you stayed off the sambuca… from what she said you didn’t exactly cover yourself in glory this morning, in fact it sounded like you weren’t covered in very much at all”

“LIAM!”

He was out the door before I could say anything more, laughing and waving as he walked past the window. He really is my best mate, we’ve always got along well and can talk about most things but I hope mum hasn’t said too much to him. Some things don’t need to be shared or discussed. Okay… she’s obviously told him she caught me naked this morning, I can tell he thinks it’s funny but fingers crossed mum didn’t say anything more about me; or to be specific… fingers crossed; I hope they weren’t discussing my penis.

The rain wasn’t letting up much so I tried to make the tea last as long as possible. I had a quick flick through the sports pages and checked who was playing who in today’s Premier League fixtures; there were some decent games on so I’d watch Match of the Day after I got home from the pub later… that reminded me…

I picked up and unwrapped the TV guide magazine, most Saturday papers came with one, he’d said Channel 4… let’s see… 6pm, nope; 7pm, nope; 9pm, nope; 10pm, nope; 11pm… hang on… 10pm… ‘Diary of Teenage Nudist’… cheeky fucker!

With the cafe owner staring at me nursing an empty mug and a flicking through a paper I obviously wasn’t reading I decided it was time to head home. The rain had eased and at a decent pace I’d be home in 30 minutes. I was still damp from getting caught in the rain earlier so there was little point in hanging about.

Despite the rain I smiled, Liam really was a cheeky fucker… diary of a teenage fucking nudist! If I was a nudist, I was on a permanent fucking break! Thankfully the shorts and vest currently stuck to me were green; if they had been pink I probably would have been mistaken for one, and been arrested too.

I pictured myself back at home stood on the front doorstep, backlit by flashing blue lights… ‘sorry to trouble you Ma’am, but your son’s been caught flashing… were you aware he isn’t wearing any underpants?’



CHAPTER 8: I SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT THE CAFE

A couple of minutes from home the rain began to get heavier and heavier and as I rounded the corner of our street it really started hammering down so I made a final sprint for home. As I bolted through the garden gate I saw mum shaking out an umbrella under the cover of the front porch.

“You’re soaked Mark!”

“Well it is pissing down mum!”

“Language!”

“Sorry… anyway, how come you’re not soaked? You didn’t take the car”

“I got a cab back… I wasn’t going to walk in this weather. It wasn’t due to rain until later, but hopefully it will pass soon, I want to plant up the hanging baskets later… do me a favour and take those bedding plants round the back, I’ll take the rest of the shopping in and open the back door for you - you’re not walking through the house dripping all over the carpets”

“How much stuff have you bought?”

“Just a bit of food for the week and some other bits and bobs… oh and I got you some new underpants”

“MUM!”

“What?”

“The neighbours!”

“Oh really Mark… right, you take those plants round the back and I’ll get you a towel… I wonder if your sister is up yet?”

Mum did like her hanging baskets but I doubted she’d be doing them anytime soon, the sky was still grey though the rain had quickly eased to a steady drizzle after the last downpour. Still it was early, only 10am, and in summer the weather could be completely different from one hour to the next. The back door opened and mum let me in.

“There’s a towel in the laundry room for you Mark, get those wet clothes off and I’ll get you something to wear… then we’ll have a coffee to get warmed up”

I closed the door behind me, got stripped and started drying off. I could do with a shower but would wait until later and have one before going out tonight. Mum seemed to take a while getting some clothes for me but I wasn’t about to go looking for her. I’m staying right where I am until I’m dressed.

“Come out when you’re done Mark, you can try on the briefs I got for you to wear under your shorts”

“I’ll try them on later Mum!”

“I’ve got your red shorts here now, just try them on and we’ll see if they’re suitable”

I wrapped the towel securely round my waist, triple checked the knot would hold and decided to get this over with. Mum always had us try on new clothes as soon as possible when she bought them, in case she needed to return them; she never did that with underwear though. First time for everything and all that I suppose; at least I’d have my shorts on over them.

“I bet you feel better now, all dried off… your shorts and briefs are on the table… I got you 4 pairs… you don’t have to wear them all the time, just for running… tea or coffee?”

“Coffee please… WHAT ARE THESE?!!!! There’s nothing of them!”

“They’re called tanga briefs Mark, they cover your front and bottom but they don’t have any side material just a narrow waistband… as your shorts are split at the sides, I thought the more full coverage briefs would be no better than boxers. Put them on now and slip your shorts over them, they should be fine but let’s double check”

These aren’t fucking briefs! They’re… I don’t know what to call them - other than obscene! After working out which bit was the front and which was the back I slid them on under my towel and picked up the shorts…

“Take that damp towel off Mark, you’ll get your shorts wet… what Mark?… stop being silly… seriously?… after this morning? You’ve got your briefs on now so don’t worry… now give me the towel”

“Yeah… but there’s not a lot of material if you know what I mean! They’re not like my boxers mum!”

“You weren’t wearing any material earlier!”

“Happy now?”

“They look nice, they’re not too tight are they, do they fit okay? Is there enough room in the front?”

“MUM!!!”

“I’m only asking Mark, I can’t tell with your back to me, can I?”

“Yeah they’re…err… they’re fine… are all of them black?”

“Yes, that’s what you asked for isn’t it?… oh good!… you can’t see them under your shorts… turn around for me… lift up the sides of your shorts… they’re perfect… it’s almost like they were made with your shorts in mind… are you happy with them?”

“I wouldn’t go that far… but… err… but I suppose they'll do for running”

“They had some very nice patterned ones in brighter colours if you’d like some different…”

“NO!… the black ones will do Mum!”

“Let me know if you change your mind… well there's no need for you to be flashing anyone anymore when you're out running, is there?”

“I HAVEN’T BEEN…”

“Good… right then, take them off and put them in washing machine, always best to wash new clothes before you wear them. Take those other bags in with you… I got you some new underwear, I just cleared out your drawers to make room for them… some of your old boxers had definitely seen better days… put one on and the rest can go into the machine with your new tanga briefs, I’ll put a wash on after we’ve had a coffee”

I took the bags with me and slipped off my shorts, the tanga briefs actually felt okay but as for coverage… they covered my penis and arse but I was more or less naked otherwise. They made it obvious I had no pubic hair too, and mum must have noticed that when she caught me changing my shorts earlier. I hope she realises I remove my hair and doesn’t think I haven’t started puberty at my age!

I shucked off the tiny briefs and chucked them in the washing machine along with my wet running clothes, the red shorts I’d taken off had got a bit wet on the floor so I threw them in too, and then opened one of the bags…

“MUM!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE?”

“Language Mark!”

“I’M NOT FUCKING WEARING THESE! THEY’RE FUCKING… WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU…”

She burst into the room.

“GET OUT MUM! I’m… I haven’t got anything on!”

“I DON’T BLOODY WELL CARE MARK!… stop swearing, I won’t tolerate it and I won’t tolerate your surly attitude either… pick those bags up and get yourself into the kitchen… NOW!”

“For fucks sake Mum!… just get out…”

WALLOP!

“MUM!”

WALLOP!

“Ow!”

“Get your bottom moving unless you want me to spank you… and I’m not joking, believe you me! You are not too old and as long as you are living under my roof… and you can stop covering your willy, I've seen it Mark, pick those bags up and get in the kitchen”

I wasn’t going to argue… I hadn’t seen mum like this in years; I picked up the bags and shamefully stepped past her into the kitchen.

“STAND THERE!… don’t move and keep hold of those bags. I’m going to make us a coffee, while you think about why you are standing there as naked as the day you were born. I don’t want to hear a single peep out of you until I’ve sat down. If you’re lucky you’ll be dressed before you sister gets down here!”

Her tone coupled with the fact that she’d just delivered two great whacks to my bum, made me obediently comply and so I just stood there, in the middle of the kitchen; looking like a fool holding a carrier bag in each hand either side of me, completely exposed with my small penis jutting forward; pointing towards the hallway and the stairs I so desperately wanted to run to.

Silently, my mother started to make the coffee, filling the kettle with cold water first.

I’d have to wait for it to boil.



CHAPTER 9: HUNG OUT TO DRY

“Right Mark, you can either apologise, put something on to wear and have your coffee, or you can carry on standing there until you’ve learnt your lesson”

“I’M SORRY MUM!!!”

“Sorry for what Mark?”

“For shouting at you and swearing”

“Good - thank you. Now, I have bought you some new underwear and you are going to wear it. Is that understood?”

“Yes mum”

“Excellent… now pick out a pair and put them on”

I did, grateful that I was no longer completely naked but nonetheless still utterly embarrassed by my current predicament and the fact that mum had seen me naked for the second time today.

“In the other bag you’ll find a matching vest, you are going to put that on as well. Then you’re going to sit down and have your coffee”

“A vest?”

“This is not up for discussion Mark, do as you’re told!”

Why has she bought me vests? I wore one for running but that was different…

“Thank you Mark, it looks like everything fits properly. Leave them on and I’ll wash the others, they’ll be dry by tomorrow along with your new tanga briefs, don't forget to wear them if you go for a run in the morning”

“Err… Mum? Why have you bought me…”

“MORNING MUM! MORNING……… MARK!!! What ARE you wearing!?!”

“Morning Laura… kettle’s just boiled”

“MUM??? Why is Mark wearing those!?!”

“Your brother needed new underwear and those are the ones he wanted”

“They’re Y-fronts mum! Where did you even find them?”

“I got them in the Market earlier this morning, Mark was just trying them on… some of us have been up for a while Laura! I’ve already done the shopping and Mark’s been out for a run”

“Mum… no one Mark’s age wears Y-fronts! Jack wouldn’t be seen dead in them and I’d probably dump him if he started wearing them… seriously, I can’t believe Mark would want to wear them!”

“That’s not what Liam told me”

“LIAM!!!!!”

“Yes Mark, I met him this morning on my way to the Market… you can sit down now… but please watch your mouth”

“I’ll just go upstairs and get…”

“Sit down Mark! We’ve seen you in your underpants God knows how many times… just drink your coffee”

“Mum, why were you talking to Liam about Mark’s underpants?”

“Well Laura, to cut a long story short your brother hasn’t been wearing any underpants under his running shorts… fancy that!… as his boxers are longer than his shorts, so I told him he’d need to wear some briefs under them instead and I’d get him a few pairs along with some new boxers as his old ones needed replacing… I got you some new knickers by the way…”

“MUM!”

“What Laura? You’re as bad as your brother! We all know everyone wears underwear, for heavens sake!… as I was saying, I met Liam on my way to the Market, I told him Mark was out running this morning without any underpants on - he was very surprised to hear that - and I was off to buy Mark some briefs and new boxers… well it turns out most of the boys are wearing Y-fronts these days and Mark’s been moaning about still having to wear boxers… the silly boy only had to ask if he wanted some!”

“Err mum? I think Liam was joking… boys are not wearing them and even I doubt Mark wants to wear Y-fronts… though he does look like a super cute little boy… especially wearing them with the matching vest!”

“He looks very nice in them… if that’s what he wants to wear now…”

“Can I ask… were they cheap mum?”

“Well the stallholder did throw in the vests for free… mind you, to get them for nothing, I did have to buy more pairs of briefs than I’d planned on getting for your brother, but they were such a bargain…”

“Oh mum! Sounds to me like he was trying to get rid of them… how many pairs did you buy for Mark?”

“I had to buy 20 pairs but each has a matching vest… half of them are in the next size up for him… and they’re not all blue, there’s navy, brown, red and other colours - they’ve all got different coloured contrast trim, I think they look very trendy…”

“Err… Mum?… did you say you cleared out my underwear drawer!?!”

“I had to make room for your new ones Mark… I just caught the dustmen before they emptied the bins”

“You’ve thrown out my boxers! MUM!!! What am I going to wear?!”

“Your new briefs of course”

“But they are fuc… fricking awful! You know I wear boxers! I can’t wear Y-fronts!”

“Well I can hardly take them back to the market stall… it’s not like buying something at Marks and Spencer… besides the next market day isn't for another month… you’ll just have to wear them… no one will see them anyway”

“This is a nightmare mum! Everyone’s gonna laugh at me! I’m going to my room!”

“You could do with tidying up in there, it’s a right old mess… anyway it looks like the rain has stopped - you can tidy your room and I’m going to tidy up my hanging baskets… is Jack still taking you out later Laura?”

“Yeah we’re going out for dinner in town tonight, probably won’t be home until sometime around 11pm, I’ll give you a hand outside after I’ve had another coffee”

“Thanks Love… are you going to the pub later Mark? Did Liam mention swimming tomorrow? If you see him, remind him we’ll pick him up just before midday”

“Oh… I’ll be seeing him alright but I can’t guarantee he’ll still be able to swim afterwards”

“You leave Liam alone, he’s a lovely boy… he was just having a bit of fun, and honestly no harms been done… you needed new underwear, and now you’ve got some… I think you look very smart in your new briefs and vest, even your sister said you looked cute… you never know, you might have all the girls chasing after you at the pub later… or a certain boy maybe?”

“MUM!!! Liam does not fancy me!…… and you can stop laughing too Laura! This is so unfair!”

“Sorry ‘little’ brother, I just can’t take you seriously when your wearing those… I reckon Liam would love to be here now to see you in them!”

“You were lucky he was wearing those when you came into the kitchen Laura… when he came down here this morning he had nothing on below the waist!”

“WHAT!!!! He wasn’t naked was he!?!”

“MUM!!!!!!!”

“Don’t be embarrassed Mark! Come on Laura, I’ll fill you in while we start on those hanging baskets”

I know someone I’d like to fucking hang; the fucker had hung me out to dry.



CHAPTER 10: A DARK HORSE IN THE BLACK HORSE

The bus was delayed and I was a bit late getting to the pub. Liam waved me over to the end of the bar where he was sat on a stool.

“I got you a pint in”

“You can get the next fucking round in as well Liam”

“What’s up with you?”

“You fucking know what’s up… what the fuck did you do that for?”

“What have I done?”

“Your little chat this morning with my mum?”

“SHE DIDN’T DID SHE?”

“SHE FUCKING DID!”

“Oh mate! Are you wearing them now? Did she get the vests as well?”

“No I’m fucking not!”

“You are… aren’t you?”

“I just told you I’m not!”

“I can tell when you’re lying… give us a look… just pull your jeans down a bit… GO ON!”

“Fuck off Liam!… and keep your fucking voice down!”

“Well… I can only assume you are, coz if you were wearing your boxers you’d have no problem showing me… what’s the matter with you anyway?”

“I’ve had a shit day… is that okay with you?… and yes, I’m wearing fucking briefs!”

“So did she get you the vests too?”

“Yes she fucking did! Satisfied are you?”

“I was only having a laugh mate… don’t be like that…”

“Don’t be like that? Like what Liam? I’m wearing pants a fucking 7 year old wouldn’t want to wear… and that’s all thanks to you!”

“Loads of boys wear briefs!”

“No they don’t and not fucking Y-fronts Liam! You sound like my mum!”

“You could still wear your boxers”

“No I fucking can’t! Mum only went and fucking threw them all away!”

“Oh… so did she get you the coloured ones?”

“WHAT?”

“You know… she got them in the Market right? So did you get the coloured ones or just the plain white ones?”

“You seem very fucking interested in what pants I’m wearing Liam… have you not had a wank today?”

“Fuck off Mark!”

“I’m not showing you my pants… it’s bad enough Mum and Laura have seen me wearing them! I look like some bloke from the 1987 Freemans catalogue!”

“Your mum and your sis… err… you’ve not been looking at pictures of men in their pants have you Mark?”

“No I fucking haven’t! That’s your territory… you might like looking at that sort of thing but not me…”

“A boy like me has his needs and let’s be fair mate, there’s not much action for me round here… so come on… what colour are you wearing?”

“Blue ones… happy now?”

“Cool! I like the blue ones!”

“Sorry?”

“Err… I umm… you ready for another pint?”

“Liam?… did you just say you ‘like’ the blue ones?… are you saying… oh no!... this is un-fucking-believable… YOU FUCKING ARE!… mate!… you dark horse!… you still wear Y-fronts!!!… does mummy still make you wear little boys Y-fronts?”

“SHE DOESN’T MAKE ME!”

“What!!! You’re blushing Liam! Are you saying you actually like wearing Y-fronts? You fucking do… I can tell! Is it some sort of fucking gay thing?”

“FUCK OFF MARK!”

“Sorry mate, I didn’t mean that… you know I don’t have a problem with you being… you know…”

“Gay?”

“You know what I mean… I said I’m sorry!”

“I need a piss, get the drinks in… here’s a tenner… I’ll pay for them…”

“LIAM!”

“I’m going for a piss”

I know I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t have a problem with him being gay, he was my best mate. Although Liam was out to his close friends, he wasn’t ready to tell the world. Like me he didn’t have a dad around, it was just him and his mum, who knows and happily accepts him being gay, but not everyone is so accepting and he was therefore somewhat sensitive about his sexuality. I thought he craved acceptance from his dad and he’d never get that… never.

Liam wasn’t effeminate or outwardly gay but boys can be cruel… a bit like saying you had a small penis, being called gay was an often heard cuss or put down - they didn’t actually know if Liam or another boy was gay, much like they didn’t know I do actually have a small penis. Such jibes were just casually tossed around without a second thought.

Liam came back; the silence was awkward.

“Your change is on the bar Liam… thanks for the drink… and you know…”

“Yeah… you’ve said you’re fucking sorry!”

“I wasn’t going to apologise mate, I’ve already done that, what I was going to ask is… why you are dressed like a gay chav?”

“I’M FUCKING NOT!”

“You fucking are! Head to toe in black and white! A fucking Adidas tracksuit mate?… forget about matching pants and vests… you look like a twat… although those bottoms don’t leave much to the imagination! You might look like a twat but you’ve not got one… I can practically see your cock!”

“They’re Adidas Tiro… they’re for football!”

“They’re fucking skin tight Liam and we’re in the fucking pub not kicking a ball around down the fucking park!”

“Everyone wears them!”

“But not everyone wears what you’ve got on underneath them… do they? I hope for your mum’s sake you don’t prance around at home in your little boy underpants!”

“I don’t prance! And I don’t go round the house in my underpants… JUST LIKE YOU DON’T! Did you have an ‘interesting’ morning? Your mum said she did!”

“I fucking knew she told you!”

“Don’t be upset with her…”

“She didn’t have to fucking tell you!”

“She’s your mum… it doesn’t matter… she even said she didn’t mind… said it reminded her of when you were little!”

“Oh God!”

“Who cares? So what if she saw you?”

“I fucking care! She hasn’t seen me naked since I was… I don’t know… 6 or 7 years old… how would you feel if your mum saw you naked!?”

“It doesn’t bother me”

“Of course it would… no boy wants his mother to see him fucking naked… it’s fucking embarrassing!”

“I’d like to see you naked”

“Fuck off Liam! You’d take any opportunity to see another boy in the… hang on a minute… that program… the one on tonight… you’re gonna watch it aren’t you?… I get it now… Eurotrash isn’t on any more and you’re hoping to see some cock? Is that it? A bit of wanking material for tonight?”

“No… err… I just thought you should watch it… some people don’t like wearing clothes… and after what your mum told me… well I just thought… you might be interested, that’s all… and of course a bit of cock action wouldn’t hurt… you might like that too… or is a bit of fanny more your thing? Whatever floats your boat mate…”

“You’re fucking desperate Liam! Just buy a magazine if you want to…”

“I’d rather see the real thing… I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!”

“Jesus Christ! Can we talk about something else please mate? This is fucking weird… it was bad enough mum seeing me naked this morning… I still can’t fucking believe she even told you… and now you want to see me naked!”

“Don’t be mad at her Mark! She’s the fucking best… I love your mum… she’s never… you know… when I came out… well she was fucking brilliant… never made me feel different… was always there for me if I needed to have a chat or a cry…”

“Okay Liam! I know she’s alright and if I didn’t know you were gay I’d think you fucking fancied her… and really… I am sorry about what I said earlier… you know you’re my best mate and, god only knows why, but I do love you… I’d do anything for you…”

“ANYTHING?”

“You know I would!”

“Well… I might feel a bit better if you’d show me your pants!”

I’d cornered myself. What else could I do?

“Oh my God!… I’M WEARING THE SAME ONES!”

“Don’t get any ideas Liam and stop squealing like a little girl! That’s all you’re getting tonight!”

I’d only pulled the side of my jeans down an inch or two but Liam looked like he’d won the fucking Lottery!

“Put your eyes back in Liam… I said that’s all you’re getting… if you want to have a wank later you’ll have to watch that documentary thing… it’s your round…”

“I got the last one!”

“You Liam, are buying all the drinks tonight mate… after the stunt you’ve pulled that’s the least you can do! Anyone would think you wanted me to wear Y-fronts… and I still can’t believe you like wearing them… they look fucking terrible mate!”

“Alright I’ll buy the drinks, and honestly I was just joking with your mum, I didn’t think she would actually buy them for you… and anyway they’re not terrible… another Stella then… do you want a sambuca as well?”

“Yeah… fuck it… why not!”



To be continued…