By Governess
liviaarbuthnot1@gmail.com
Copyright 2024 by Governess, all rights reserved
* * * * *Chapter 62
William, sensing that Mrs Crampton was not somebody to cross, stood facing the wall as instructed.
She turned to Cordelia.
“I am very willing to spank William, Mrs Lavington. But I want to do it
as a friend, Just as I might, if I were baby-sitting him. So, do you
think we could address each other by our Christian names. I’d then be
much more comfortable about the situation.”
“Yes, of course.
And we do seem to have a very similar outlook when it comes to
disciplining children. I think you said your name was Isobel. Mine is
Cordelia.”
“Yes, I remember your introducing yourself. I
thought what a lovely name. And we do seem to share a common approach
in raising children. Have you read any of the books by Eugenia Strang.
I’ve always found her advice most helpful.”
Cordelia smiled.
“Eugenia Strang is one of my favourite writers. I was only reading last night from her book on
The Management and Discipline of Boys.”
And she remembered almost word for word what she had read, for it was a book to which she returned again and again.
Some
wonder whether the infliction of pain is compatible with love. But it
is not so much compatible as an essential component. A mother’s love
can become sentimental and absorbing, smothering a boy, and preventing
his development as an independent being responsible for his own
decisions. Regular chastisement ensures that a boy is aware that sin
has consequences both in this world and in the world to come and, if
sufficiently painful, should serve as a deterrent against further
offending. However, it also distances the boy from that warmth of
maternal love that can stifle and imprison him in its embrace. A loving
mother should be ready to incur his resentment, and to continue
whipping him until that resentment is burnt away in his helpless broken
sobbing.
There may be times when protracted punishment fails
to deliver those " peaceable fruit of righteousness" of which the
Apostle speaks; and a mother may then be discouraged and conclude that
punishment is a barren exercise. But unlike a young colt, a boy is
infected with the sin of Adam and needs to be broken, not once, but
time and time again. A mother must recognise that and continue to
provide the punishment he needs, increasing both its frequency and
severity. And making use of all the means at her disposal to enhance
her discipline and render it effective. Let me mention a number of
those that I have found particularly helpful.
First, spanking without exception
should be administered to the bare buttocks. And if a mother has up to
now been content merely to lower the boy’s trousers and pull his
underpants down his thighs, she might consider removing both garments
completely or even stripping him completely naked. When a boy is
failing to cooperate with his punishment, stripping him naked often
induces a welcome spirit of compliance. And to counter a spate of
repeated disobedience, serious consideration might be given to
extending his punishment over several sessions. I have warned a boy
after a spanking that he would again be soundly spanked first thing the
following morning. And sometimes this is accompanied by the promise of
a further spanking that evening.
Secondly, a mother may from
time to time choose to punish him with a different implement. If a
mother has routinely punished with a hairbrush, she may on occasion
employ a cane, a tawse or even bind up a birch. This conveys to a boy
that his mother is not merely responding routinely to his misbehaviour
but with care and consideration showing he is at the centre of her
love, and shaping her discipline to his need.
Thirdly,
although a spanking is itself shaming, as well as painful, the boy’s
sense of shame may be significantly increased if the decision is taken
to spank him before others, either his siblings, or other adult family
members, or even trusted neighbours. There should first be a warning of
this, but then it should be firmly carried out if the circumstance
demand it. Much has been written about shame being destructive and
damaging. This is a nonsense that must be firmly rejected. Shame for
sinful behaviour is natural. And increasing the shame of punishment is
a helpful way of making a child, fully aware of the nature of sin and
the need to shun it.
Fourthly, rather than a spanking
following hard on a boy’s offence, he might be made to stand, facing
the wall, with his bottom bared, awaiting his punishment at a moment of
his mother’s choosing. For a seven-year-old boy, a period of up to half
an hour standing in shame is usually sufficient; but for an older boy,
that should certainly be extended to possibly as much as an hour. After
his whipping, the boy may then be returned to stand with his now red
and smarting bottom on display for the same length of time as before
his punishment. Needless to say, this should be in a place where all
can view his distress and the consequences of wrongdoing.
Fifthly, the use of time to enhance a boy’s discipline may also be
employed in other ways. For example, the decision to whip him may be
announced but the execution delayed. This allows his anxiety to grow
and his dread of the punishment steadily to increase. At times, I have
permitted a boy to live with the knowledge that he is to be soundly
spanked for more than a day. During this time, he may be reminded of
what is to come, and that in itself is a potent means of exercising
control over his behaviour. Another means of enhancing a boy’s
discipline, is to pause during the progress of the spanking, and to
allow hope to grow that his ordeal is over; only for that to be dashed
when it is resumed, possibly with increased vigour. This may be
repeated several times during the course of his punishment. I can vouch
for its effectiveness in reducing a boy to helpless sobbing
subservience.
Sixthly, a boy’s discipline should be
something that runs throughout his whole upbringing and nurturing. The
rod is not something to be hidden away in a cupboard until needed. It
should be a visible presence and prominently displayed, where it can be
seen, not only by the boy, but by all who enter the house. This may
arouse the interest of visitors and, as a consequence, questions may be
asked about the mother’s commitment to physical chastisement. The
additional shame of his spankings being discussed openly before others
should not be minimised, and is, indeed, something to welcome.
And finally, at times, a mother allow a close family acquaintance or
friend to spank the boy in her presence. Knowing that this is at the
request of his mother, and that she is watching approvingly has to be
among the most shame inducing steps that a mother can take in enhancing
her son’s discipline.
“Yes, the passage I was reading
last night was the one that sets out the steps a mother might take to
enhance a boy’s discipline, including letting a friend spank him. I
think it was that that prompted my invitation to you.”
Isobel smiled.
“I am really thrilled that we share an enthusiasm for Eugenia Strang.
And, if I remember, the passage you quoted from is also where she
suggests the use of a different implement from time. Have you ever used
a tawse for William?”
“Not for William, but for Samuel. I
bought one for his eleventh birthday. He was expecting a box of toy
soldiers but the tawse was his only present. He had been going through
a spell of particularly bad behaviour.”
She smiled.
“He was very disappointed. But, as I told him, toys end up in a box and
are forgotten, but the discipline a tawse provides lasts a lifetime. At
eleven he’s reached an age when a great deal more is expected of him
and the penalties for falling short need to be more severe.”
“Where did you buy the tawse?”
“From Philp’s in Lochgelly. It’s a medium weight.”
“Well, I am sure it is an excellent belt. My husband, Cameron, worked
alongside James Heggie for a number of years. But tell me more about
why you came into the shop today. What were you looking for exactly?”
“Well, we have two boys in the Orphanage who have disgraced themselves
together in bed and they are to be flogged by me tomorrow afternoon.
The Principal would normally expect such boys to be birched, but I have
told him my preference is for the tawse. He is rather reluctant, but
prepared to consider it, provided the tawse is as punishing as the
birch. So, what I need is a belt that meets that requirement. And we
are talking about a birching of three or four dozen strokes.”
Isobel smiled.
“Well, in my experience, a tawse can be as severe as a birch, and
possibly more severe. A birch may look impressive, but the twigs are
relatively light even if extremely flexible. They cut and abrade the
surface of a child’s bottom rather than raising weals that penetrate
deep into the flesh. The strokes of a tawse, if laid on properly, are
not just agonising but leave a boy stiff and aching for several days
afterwards. The marks of a birching may last for a while, but the pain
soon fades away.”
She smiled encouragingly.
“We make four weights of tawse: light, medium, heavy and extra heavy. Let me show you each.”
“Thank you, Isobel. That is an excellent idea.”
Four tawses were laid on the counter.
“This is a light weight belt”.
She smiled.
“Not, I think, what you are looking for. Although it would be an ideal implement for disciplining young William here.”
“Isn’t that too severe for a boy of his age?”
“Well, a heavier tawse might be, but not this.”
Cordelia ran her hand down its length. It was a little shorter than the
tawse hanging in Samuel’s room, and noticeably lighter. She handed it
to William who took it reluctantly.
“So, what do you think, William? If that was hanging in your bedroom, do you think you’d behave better?”
He knew the only reply that was acceptable.
“I . . . I suppose so . . . Mother.”
With a quizzical look she took it from William and placed it back on the counter. Isobel continued.
“And this is a medium weight belt. But you are already familiar with
that. So, I imagine the choice is between a heavy or an extra heavy
weight. Pick them up and gauge how punishing each would be and whether
it would provide the severity you’re looking for. You said the boys had
been caught in bed together. I take it they were engaged in more than
just cuddling up to keep warm?”
“They were, Isobel. Shameful, disgusting and sinful behavior.”
“In that case, thirty-six strokes with an extra heavy weight tawse wouldn’t seem inappropriate.”
Cordelia put her head on one side and frowned.
“Well, that’s the view of the Principal. But some years ago, I
witnessed a young boy, older than the two boys in question, secured
over a bench for a judicial flogging. I cannot forget the sight of his
bottom and upper thighs after he had received thirty-six strokes of
what was an extra heavy weigh tawse. And these two orphanage boys are
considerably younger. A flogging with an extra heavy weight tawse does
seem a bit severe?”
“Well, that’s for you to judge. But their
offence should surely attract the severest of punishments. The judicial
flogging you witnessed was certainly severe. And I am sure there was
some bleeding where later strokes had burst open earlier weals.”
“Yes, there was”.
“Nevertheless, those eventually healed. I am not sure you should allow
the signs of a memorable and well-deserved whipping sway your judgement
like this. Shouldn’t your decision be guided by the offence and what is
an appropriate response.”
Cordelia set down the tawse and picked up its heavy weight cousin. She smacked it across her palm.
“Yet my instinct is to prefer this heavy weight. It would also have the
advantage of being available for Samuel were a more severe punishment
called for. Which as he gets older, I am sure will be necessary."
Are William and Samuel your only children, Cordelia?”
“No, I have a daughter as well. Three children. Elizabeth is between the two boys”.
“And how is she punished?”
“As William. She is two years younger than Samuel. So, with the back of
my hairbrush and, if necessary, the cane. But on one occasion recently
I did punish her with the tawse., but that was for really serious
misbehaviour. It’s hung in Samuel’s bedroom and I made her go and
request it herself.”
“Well, that must have made her toes
curl with embarrassment. And no bad thing. With my own children, the
tawse is hung in the hall, and everyone who comes into the house can
see it. I have never been ashamed for people to know I discipline my
children properly, and regard it as the natural and right way of
punishing children.”
She paused.
“But we are forgetting William.”
Cordelia nodded.
“May I see that light weight tawse again, Isobel?”
She picked it up and handed it to her.
“You said that it was intended for children of around William’s age?”
“Yes. All my children were punished with a tawse like that when they were William’s age, or earlier.”
Cordelia frowned.
“As you saw from his bottom, he has only just been punished severely.
And yet this morning he was again rude and disobedient. If a boy cannot
learn from his punishment, then, in my book, it needs to be repeated,
and repeated with increased severity. So, I wonder if, as well as the
paddle, the tawse might also be appropriate.”
“Well, I didn’t
like to interfere, Cordelia, but if it was my son, he would certainly
been getting the tawse across his rear end. “
“And you would use a tawse like this?”
“Yes. A good two or three dozen strokes. But if you want to see the
leather paddles in use, then I suggest a dozen with each paddle,
followed by a dozen with the tawse.”
Cordelia smiled.
“I am sure that would provide a very necessary and very salutary lesson.”