By Terosk
Copyright 2022 by Terosk, all rights reserved
* * * * *Ars Puniendi
Chapters 29-31
Chapter 29 - Coach’s wisdom
I
handed Mr. Innovata my letter of apology saying simply, “Here’s the
letter for Arthur. Would you like to read it? …or should I give it to
Arthur myself?” He simply held out his hand for the letter and I stood
there while he unfolded it and read it through. He seemed to pause for
a bit before looking up and meeting my eyes. He seemed to be searching
for some meaning in my expression. I did my best to show contriteness
on my face, though wasn’t exactly sure how to do it, so I just met his
gaze and waited.
“Thank you, Tyler,” he said after a bit,
“this seems sincere enough and I suspect Arthur will appreciate it. I
really do hope you’ve learned from this whole experience what it means
to see the world from another’s perspective and that henceforth you’ll
become a more thoughtful and considerate member of our community. I’ll
hang on to this for now and get it to Arthur shortly. For now, you are
to head up to tennis practice. I just spoke with Coach Terrell; he’ll
be expecting you. And I also called your mother to confirm your
transportation home; sounds like this young woman, Stephanie, will be
coming to pick you up, … a bit on the early side I believe. Later this
afternoon, I’ll reach out to your father to report on your day. I’ll
tell him that you’ve managed to survive the day with your dignity
intact, and that you did so by following his advice to ‘fully embrace’
this alternative punishment. I can’t help but think he’ll be pleased to
hear it, and therefore will return your clothes. Hopefully you’ll never
have to experience anything like this again.” He again looked up at me
directly in the eye, and again I met his gaze while giving him a slight
nod of my head to acknowledge what he had said. Eventually he added,
“So that’s it for now; you may go. As I said, Coach Terrell will be
expecting you as you are.”
“Yes sir; thank you.” I said as I
turned and headed out the door in the direction of the gym. After
taking a few steps, I began wondering what it was going to be like
running around hitting tennis balls in the buff, and whether Coach
Terrell would let me at least put on my sneakers. It occurred to me
that my gym locker had all my tennis gear including the uniform gym
shorts and tee shirt. Perhaps I should just get fully dressed and show
up as if it were a normal practice day. I hadn’t taken more than a few
steps outside and into the oppressive heat when I heard a voice I
recognized well. It was the team captain, Jonathan Jokel. He was with a
few of the other team members heading, not surprisingly, in the same
direction up to the gym.
“Hey guys,” he said with evident
amusement, “it looks like our young middle school hotshot has been
stripped of his bravado.” All laughed; I turned to face them determined
to deal with this as I had done during the rest of the school day.
“Greetings noble teammates! What do y’all think of my new totally
breathable skin tight attire?” I figured that it would be harder for
them to mock me if I were first to make a joke of it myself and to do
so without being bashful about it. “I must confess that given this
ridiculously oppressive heat, it’s not been as bad as I initially
thought earlier today. Quite an experience, I fully admit, spending the
day at school in the nude. You ought to try it sometime.” I quickly
fell in step beside them, figuring that by joining them on the way up
to the gym, I’d have the advantage of being a part of a group and thus
be shielded to some degree from the onslaught of abuse I might receive
if I were alone. They were clearly unsure at first what to think about
my walking alongside them, but as I kept up my banter without pause,
they seemed to get over their initial reticence. “Ironic, isn’t it,
that one gets in deep trouble for being out of dress code on most days
here at St. Francis Academy, and yet on this oppressively hot,
sweltering day, I’ve been given the great privilege of ‘dressing down’
…fully. It’s really quite liberating to be honest, …and there’ll be no
sweaty cloths to wash afterwards.” They were all looking at me with
eyebrows raised skeptically. I babbled on as we walked, “My mom ought
to be pleased; she always complains about how much laundry I create;
though to be honest, my twin younger brothers are even worse. They seem
to like playing in the mud.” I paused to catch my breath hoping that
one of the others would find something to say so it wasn’t such a
one-way conversation. They all seemed to be looking at me with this
sort of amused indulgence. Eventually one of the 3 seniors on the team
spoke up.
“I got to ask you. What exactly did you do to ‘earn’ this privilege?”
“You mean you don’t know?” Austin chimed in, “The idiot stole another
kid’s clothes this past Monday after gym class and this is some
‘alternative’ punishment the school is now experimenting with. It’s
supposed to better ‘fit the crime’ than the traditional 2-day
suspension. I saw one of his two accomplices similarly ‘attired’
yesterday.” he paused for some scattered laughter. “Yeah - the kid
spent a whole class period modeling for a senior art class. My sister
was in it; said that the poor kid popped a boner and yet had to remain
motionless while the class did their best to capture the uplifting
moment with pencil and paper.”
“Holy shit - that would be total humiliation!” It was Jonathan.
“That’s for sure. I can’t help but think this new alternative
punishment will keep kids in line!” said Ricky, the only other senior
on the team. “Glad that wasn’t the policy when I was in middle school -
I might have been starkers for a whole week straight!”
“No
doubt - you really were a wild man back then.” Jonathan agreed, then
added, “Supposedly parents have to sign off on whatever innovative
approach is being proposed.” He then looked at me. “So, tell me Tyler,
are your parents on board with all this?”
I had enjoyed the
break from having to keep the conversation going but wasn’t at all sure
I wanted to share the specifics of my parents’ involvement. Even as I
thought about it briefly, I could feel some the blood begin rushing to
my face as I recalled the mortifying moments of this morning’s early
meeting. The image of my father unexpectedly walking in the room, the
military brochure he slid to me across that table, and then the empty
box with my name on it awaiting my clothes. My voice was suddenly stuck
in my throat. All I could manage as a response was a nod of my head and
the one word, “Yes.”
I think the group noticed my discomfort
and perhaps were ready to probe a bit more in that direction, but we
had thankfully arrived at the gym, and I was thus rescued from having
to elaborate. The others made their way to their lockers to get changed
and I was left with the dilemma as to whether I should go to my own
locker and get changed into the sports uniform, or to fulfill the
punishment I’d been assigned by the school, or more accurately, my
father. I instinctively headed to my locker and spun the lock to open
it. I extracted my two rackets from on top and grabbed my shoes as
well. I reached in and removed my shorts and shirt hanging on the hook
at the back. It was tempting to be sure, and I stood there for a moment
or two contemplating my options, wondering if I could get away with
pretending my punishment was at an end. It occurred to me that it might
work for the next ten minutes or so as I navigated the walk up to the
courts, but Mr. Innovata did say that he had already spoken to Coach
Terrell, who therefore would be expecting me to arrive in my naked
state. I could hear the coaches voice in my head, “So Tyler, let me get
this right. You got the chance to replay your selfish choice from
yesterday and fulfill the alternative punishment that would have
allowed you to participate in tennis these next few critical weeks, and
yet after surviving the bulk of the day in the buff, you suddenly lost
your nerve, got suddenly self-conscious, and violated the terms of your
punishment by putting on your uniform. You really are selfish; you have
no idea what it means to make sacrifices for the larger team effort.”
My imaginations were interrupted at this point by a voice behind me.
“Hey guys, look at this. If it isn’t our good friend, Tyler Formale.” I
turned my head. It was Joey looking as if he’d won the lottery. Other
boys crowded in behind him. “It seems now that classes are over,
Tyler’s finally found some clothes to put on. Go ahead, put your shorts
on - we’ve all seen enough of your bare bottom today.”
Great,
I thought, the curtain’s gone up I’m on stage again - another impromptu
performance. I knew what I had to do, so I tossed my shorts and shirt
back into the locker, shut it, took a deep breath, and turned fully to
face them making sure every part of me was on view.
“I know
full well you’ve enjoyed looking at my bare bottom, Joey, so I
certainly wouldn’t want to deprive you of that privilege, nor of my
front side. Go on. Take a long look - I won’t shy away or cover up.”
and I stood there letting them all gape at my nakedness. I examined the
faces that had assembled. A few of them had been in my earlier classes,
but most were seeing me for the first time. Theo, I noticed was among
them in the rear. I purposely met his eyes with a slight smile. The
group as a whole seemed fascinated by my nudity, but even more so by
the fact that I wasn’t shying away from it.
One kid from
behind Joey spoke up, “Is it true you went down to the lower school and
popped a boner?” I heard gasps of horror from the group. “Don’t deny it
- my younger brother is in that class and he’s been telling everyone
about it.”
I looked at him doing my very best not to show
anything on my face. It was horrifying to think that everyone was going
to know about my embarrassing moment in that health class, and I was
admittedly mortified by the fact that rumors were already circulating,
but there was no way to deny it, so I decided to go all in. “Yes - that
happened. It was quite a class to be honest; and one boy named Phillip
wanted me to jerk off.” All eyes went wide. “I didn’t of course; I told
him that since he was asking me about that, he was clearly old enough
to be experienced already in that activity.” I laughed and a few of the
others joined along. “You should have seen him turn beet red as the
rest of his classmates laughed. I reminded him that such things were
best done in private. …So, what do you think guys …did I handle that
OK?” I looked around searching the wide-eyed faces for an answer. I saw
only looks of silent disbelief mixed with some begrudging admiration
(or at least I would like to think so.) Finally, Theo spoke up
hesitantly.
“So, why’d you toss your gym uniform back in the
locker? The school day is over after all; isn’t your punishment over?
Can’t you now finally get dressed?” Was Theo looking at me with earnest
concern? or baiting me a bit after what I’d said to him yesterday. The
others remained silent awaiting my response. As I mentioned earlier, I
had worked hard to cultivate a reputation of being brashly
self-confident and willing to test whatever boundaries were set by the
adults in our lives, but that only works when one can thumb one’s nose
at the idle threats one gets. That I was unmistakably without my
clothes was a clear sign that I’d lost the battle this time and had
paid the price for stepping out of bounds, but it occurred to me that I
could perhaps be even more impressive in their eyes by flaunting my
nakedness rather than be humbled by it. Maybe there’s something a bit
macho about accepting gracefully that which you can’t change. I looked
at Theo and responded honestly to his question.
“I wish Theo -
but this isn’t so much the school’s punishment, but my father’s. Do you
happen to know where my clothes are? Do you remember yesterday that box
with your name on it where your clothes spent the afternoon while you
were showing off your bare butt …and lots more if the stories I hear
are true.” I must confess that I enjoyed the laughter that got as well
as the fact that everyone turned to see Theo turn beet red. But the
group turned its attention back to me a moment later. I continued,
“Well it just so happens that my box isn’t in Mr. Innovata’s office as
yours was yesterday when you returned from your adventure in Art class.
My father was so pissed at me that he walked off with the box when he
left that meeting this morning. And he made it clear that I’d only get
them back tonight, if and only if he gets a good report from Mr.
Innovata about my response today.” Jaws dropped at that - horror
written on their faces, but not without a hint of awe and admiration as
well. Ironic that being totally honest seemed sufficient to earn me
additional respect. I certainly wouldn’t have thought so when this
ordeal began this morning. The secret seems to be in being bold. “So
perhaps, my friends, you’ll be seeing my ‘bare butt’ again in the days
to come!” And with those words, I slipped my feet into my unlaced
sneakers, grabbed my tennis racket, and walked past them towards the
exit, pausing only for a brief second to look back at the gapping
faces. I gave them a big smile as I wiggled my ‘bare butt’ in their
direction before continuing out the door and up the path towards the
courts.
My first impression upon stepping outside was the
muggy heat which blanketed me instantly even though the building was
blocking the direct heat of the sun. Seconds later however I turned the
corner and the merciless afternoon sun beat down upon me. I began to
jog the few hundred yards up the hill to the courts. Sweat began to
form instantly on my face and naked torso; it was an odd sensation
feeling simultaneously the heat of the sun and the cooling effect of my
sweat against the slight breeze caused by my motion. I heard from a
distance a few comments I suspect were hurled my way, but I
successfully ignored them. I arrived a minute later at the courts. The
rest of the team, all in matching blue and gray practice gear, were
gathered in a circle doing their warmup stretching. Coach Terrell stood
beside them and looked at me with raised eyebrows as I approached. “Mr.
Formale,” he said before I could join the others, “it looks like you’re
not exactly in uniform today, so I guess I can’t let you participate
fully in our practice, and I certainly can’t send you with the rest of
the team on the traditional campus run. We can’t have you spoiling our
team’s good reputation by having you join them in your embarrassing
state. So please head over there and do laps around the courts until
they return.” He motioned to the 6 empty courts reserved for the
varsity squad and then added, “If I see you stop to rest for even a
moment, you’ll become target practice for our first drill. Now be off
with you.” I instantly saw the hungry look of amused anticipation on
the expressions of my assembled teammates at the prospect of taking aim
at me. Was he kidding? I couldn’t tell. I looked at coach coldly. I
somehow envisioned a more positive reaction given his snide remarks
yesterday about me being selfish by refusing to go along with the
alternative punishment. That I was now being fully compliant towards
that very alternative, and thus eligible to play in all the matches, I
really thought he’d be pleased. If so, you certainly couldn’t tell by
his expression and tone of voice.
I gritted my teeth but
said nothing in response. I headed off to the courts and began jogging
slowly around the periphery. I looked back over my shoulder as Coach
Terrell sent the rest of the team set off for the traditional campus
run and returned to his office in the pavilion. I noticed a small group
at the end of the line looked back my way shaking their heads
derisively. They’d be back in approximately 10 minutes more than ready
to use me as target practice. I began my tedious trek around the six
courts without much enthusiasm.
I was completing my fourth
lap around the courts when I noticed that Coach Terrell had returned.
He was standing just outside the courts, arms folded across his chest
just watching me. I pretended not to notice him, but I did pick up the
pace a bit. I continued my circular journey right past him and he
didn’t say a word; he just watched as I passed by. He was in the
identical position when I rounded the furthest court and was completing
my fifth lap. As I got nearer to him, he spoke just loud enough for me
to hear, “It is said that becoming a champion demands discipline and
dedication. …that a true champion practices just as hard as when they
play. …even when no one’s watching.” He spoke it as a matter of idle
observation rather than something directed at me, and he didn’t seem to
be expecting any response, so I continued my journey around the courts
another time without pause. As I completed my next lap, he again spoke
as I passed him by, “True champions are revealed under duress; by the
way they respond when things aren’t going their way. …when they’re
behind and on the brink of defeat. A true champion will be at his best
when the deck is stacked against him.” I looked at him as he spoke and
picked up my pace a bit more as I moved past. I continued to increase
my pace as I made my way around the courts for the sixth time. When I
approached him this time, I was breathing hard. He motioned for me to
stop and approach. “That’s a bit better. Now drink.” and he handed me a
bottle of water through the fence. “It’s hot; you need to stay
hydrated.” and as I unscrewed the top and downed the water he
continued, “If you want to be a champion, your effort and attitude will
have to match your god given talent. Your first few laps around these
courts were an embarrassment, a total waste of time. For god’s sake -
you haven’t even laced up your sneakers.” He paused as I followed his
gaze down at my feet. He continued as I knelt down to remedy the
situation, “Listen Tyler, if you really want a spot on this team,
especially as a middle schooler, then I suggest you prove it not just
to me but to the rest of the team as well. Instead of running the
periphery of the courts, I want you sprinting up and down each ally,
all six courts, with all the strength you’ve got. The rest of the team
will be finishing up their campus run any second now; when they crest
that hill and sprint their final 100 yards; let them see that you have
the makings of a champion.” He put out his hand to collect my empty
water bottle. “And remember this Tyler: I believe in you. Now get your
naked butt in gear.” He turned and left.
I felt like an idiot.
I had managed to survive the rest of the day by being unapologetically
bold, by fully embracing my punishment. How could I be so stupid as to
let my shoulders slump in defeat just because he had sent me to jog the
courts rather than join the others on the campus run. I kicked myself
into gear and quickly began sprinting the alleys as instructed. Coach
Terrell was right - if the others saw me sprinting with enthusiasm as
they returned, they’d perhaps forget the look of defeat I’d shown them
earlier. I began my sprints up and down the alleys while keeping an eye
on the crest of the hill. I’d only made it to court 3 by the time the
first of my teammates came into sight. I returned my focus to the alley
in front of me, pretending not to notice as the rest of the team
crested the hill and made their way back to the courts; I knew full
well that they’d be watching me intently, eager to see me slow down so
they could taunt me with the possibility of coach’s threat to use me as
target practice. I had to pretend that I was totally enjoying these
sprints. I kept it up around the furthest court and all the way back
towards court one without slowing for a second. I was breathing hard
and dripping from sweat. I noticed that the entire team had assembled
just outside the fence, all watching my performance.
Chapter 30 - Target Practice
“Good
thing you were busting your bare behind around those courts Tyler - any
slower and we’d be taking turns targeting that tush of yours.” It was
Drew, the only freshmen who had made the cut. He was always trying a
bit too hard to be funny and often aimed his harmless abuse in my
direction. I usually did a good job of ignoring him, but I couldn’t
help myself this time.
“Love the alliteration.” I retorted,
“You must have actually paid attention in English class earlier today.
Just so you know, if you were targeting my tush, I’d have very little
to worry about; my ‘bare behind’ would be quite safe. And I want you to
know that my ‘bare behind' will kick your sassy ass when it comes to
our inevitable challenge match.” My clever response rightfully earned
some amused ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ from the rest of the assembled team, but
unfortunately, Coach Terrell chose just that moment to reappear from
the pavilion and had heard my last line.”
“That’s quite
enough, Tyler,” he glared at me. “You would think you’d have the good
sense to keep your mouth shut given the circumstances.” He then turned
his attention to the team who quickly huddled around him. I was still
on court so I just listened in as best I could though the fence. “Let’s
have a good practice today. We’re continuing to focus on our footwork
and trying to get set early so we can accelerate through the ball. I’ll
be feeding you one ball to the forehand and one to the backhand in
quick succession. I want you to hit each ball down the line. Be sure to
keep your shots past the service line. Depth is important!” and then he
added, “And Tyler, I’ll expect you to continue running as you did
yesterday around the outside of the courts. Perhaps when you’re back in
uniform next week, I’ll let you practice with the rest of the team.”
I held my tongue pretending that I wasn’t angry. I had somehow thought
that by sprinting the alleys ‘like a champion’, I’d be invited to
rejoin the group after the campus run. Clearly, I was still on trial,
still being tested. I couldn’t afford to let any of them think me
defeated, so as I headed for the door, I made eye contact with Drew and
mouthed the words, “Going to kick your ass.”
“Hey Coach,” Drew called out, “Tyler just threatened to kick my ass.”
I didn’t hesitate to respond, “Sorry Coach, I’m guilty as charged -
couldn’t help myself. It’s in my DNA to be competitive. It should be a
real asset to the team in the coming weeks.”
“If by some
miracle you’re still alive by then, you arrogant little punk.” It was
our captain Jonathan. “I suggest you shut your trap and begin running
as coach has instructed.”
“I’m on my way,” I responded
cheerfully but added as I left them, “But if you need a target for your
drill, I’m all in.” I wasn’t kidding either. I figured it would be
better to be a part of the action than relegated an outcast. And I
wanted them to know that I wasn’t at all afraid of the earlier threat.
To be honest, I already imagined how it would go; I’d already played
the role of target during the summer when helping the pro out with
tennis clinics at my local club. The kids had been intermediate level
players and only rarely did a ball actually hit me and nothing at all
hard. I suspected that there'd be some close calls, but I’d likely not
risk any real harm. As long as I could see the ball coming, I could
move out of the way. Of course, the game of it for me was not to
flinch, but the worst case scenario is that I’d have to.
“Are you serious?” It was Coach Terrell looking at me incredulously.
“Yes - totally. Always willing to contribute to the team effort.” I
said with a hint of a grin. And I was relieved to see on his face an
amused look of begrudging respect.
“OK” he said, “Prove it.
If you sprint to the far fence and back in under 20 seconds, I’ll
consider it. …and he began counting. I smiled for real as I took off on
a sprint. I touched the far fence at the count of 9 and made the turn
and heard some genuine cheering from my teammates.
“Keep
moving Tyler - I love target practice!” It was Drew. And as I completed
the sprint with a full two seconds to spare, I responded as best I
could while catching my breath.
“Hey Drew, I’ve seen your
backhand. You need all the practice you can get. I doubt very much if I
have anything to worry about.” Then I turned to Coach Terrell, “Would
you like me to stand just behind the service line on their backhand
side?”
I saw laughter in his eyes as he nodded to me
affirmatively and added for the teams benefit but more specifically to
Drew, “One point for hitting the ball into the back quadrant, two
points for hitting the precocious punk, and three points for forcing
the pre-freshman to flinch.”
I’m not sure he’d been so
alliterative intentionally, but I couldn’t help chiming in. “Hey Coach,
that was a brilliantly alliterative line. You should be teaching
English as well as tennis.” He rolled his eyes skyward as he shook his
head in mock disbelief as the rest of the team held their breath to see
his response to my quip.
He then added, “And a bonus point
for making him sing soprano!” There were genuine guffaws at that, and
the team quickly moved to line up on the baseline ready for the drill
to start. I dutifully took my place just behind the service line and
stood boldly facing my teammates. Coach took his place just behind me
in the center with a full hopper of balls. We’d done a simplified
version of this drill using traffic cones as targets, so we all knew
what was expected. Given that they had to hit their backhand on the run
after hitting a forehand would likely make their backhands less than
accurate, though the captain and the other two seniors were really
quite good so I knew I might have to dodge a few zingers to preserve my
manhood.
Even so, I put my hands behind my back as if I had
nothing to worry about and shouted out encouragement, “Bring it on, my
friends. Let’s see some awesome backhands!” Captain Jonathan was up
first and after ripping one down the forehand side, he unleashed a
backhand that just missed me to the right and landed within a foot of
the baseline. I fought the impulse to shift my weight to my left as it
passed; getting hit by that his backhand could be a problem - he was no
intermediate level player. I didn’t think the rest of the gang would be
nearly so dangerous. Jonathan then sprinted, as we always did with
these drills, around the periphery of the court. As he passed me, he
smiled as he said, “That was a close one Tyler. You’ll may well be
singing soprano by the end of the drill.”
I was thinking
pretty much the same thing, but said instead, “Not likely - you missed
me by a mile.” And as I spoke, the next ball sailed over my head and
out of court. The next one was about a yard or two to my left but
landed within the back quarter of the court. I shouted out, “Not much
of a threat, but still worth one point.” The next ball was a looper
that landed before the service line and bounced past me on the right
side. “Unlucky - too short to earn a point even it was on target.” Drew
was up next, and I knew he’d be gunning at me. I was surprised to see
that he hit instead a very controlled ¾ pace ball in my direction and
was a bit nervous that it might actually hit me, even if it wouldn’t
have hurt, but was relieved that it passed by within inches of my right
hip. I said with mock sincerity as he ran past me, “Not at all bad Drew
- a bit wimpy but almost got me. Better luck next time.”
“Next
time I won’t be so nice.” he responded without missing a beat. I smiled
inwardly knowing that he’d swing twice as hard next time and likely
miss by a lot.
Then I saw a ball heading all too accurately
in my direction. I tensed up but didn’t yet move; it wasn’t coming all
that fast and I quickly calculated the projection and determined that
my manhood was not threatened. I allowed it to complete its course and
hit me square in the chest. “Good shot - love the swing; 2 points.” It
was the sophomore Andrew; a quiet kid who seems nice enough. He didn’t
respond more than a slight smile and didn’t say anything as he ran
past. Another few balls past by me safely and earned the single point
for making it past the service line and within the back quadrant. I
simply shouted out words of encouragement, “Not bad - worth another
point.” or, “Great effort - just another few feet to the left,” or
“right” as was appropriate to the case. When Drew surprised me by
hitting another overly controlled and wimpy ball towards me, I played
the role of coach and said, “Drew - stop trying to guide the ball;
trust your swing: turn your shoulders fully and follow through like you
mean it.” It’s exactly what I’d have said to the younger kids I coached
over the summer, only with Drew it was admittedly presumptuous. I knew
it would get under his thin skin. I saw him glare at me and then he
said to Coach Terrell, “Can you shut Tyler up - he’s annoying.”
“No doubt he’s annoying, but in your case, he’s quite right; you’ve got
to get better pace on that backhand.” I saw Drew’s shoulders slump a
bit at the rebuke. I noted that he gave me a cold stare as he ran past.
Of course, I couldn’t help grinning in response and he looked away.
Another few balls whizzed past me but far enough for me to remain
unconcerned. I continued my upbeat banter calling out whether each shot
earned a point or not. I did get hit twice more in the legs and one hit
my right foot, but all were glancing blows that didn’t hurt all that
much and I had managed to refrain from flinching. I simply called out
in each case, “Well done - another two points.” Tennis balls thankfully
are pretty light and getting hit isn’t all that big a deal.
But then suddenly I had to move - it was Jonathan again and his
backhand was heading unambiguously just where it would hurt the most.
Instinct took over. My hands whipped around and without conscious
thought, I managed to catch the ball almost as if I were fielding a
line drive at short stop. There was sudden silence as the team stared
in my direction. I felt the adrenaline rush as I realized how close I’d
come to losing my manhood. But I knew I had to remain unfazed; I
cleared my throat and shouted out, “Awesome shot - Bullseye! Every bit
worth 3 points!” I then remembered that there was a bonus point offered
for making me sing soprano, so I amended the point score, “Actually,
make that 4 points since I’d definitely be singing soprano if I hadn’t
moved.” That I used an exaggerated falsetto as I said the word soprano
gave everyone a laugh.
I then casually tossed the ball back
to Coach Terrell who looked genuinely relieved that I was okay, and I
may have even caught a hint of a grin on his face as well; he was
enjoying my antics. He caught the ball I’d tossed to him and continued
feeding the next ball without saying anything. When Jonathan ran past
me, he said just loud enough for me to hear, “Hey Tyler, that was an
impressive catch. That ball would have wiped out all hope of children
in the future.”
I replied without looking at him, “For sure
- I have to admit that that was a great backhand Captain. That would
have hurt big time! Glad I was paying attention!”
We were
nearing the end of the drill when I heard some laughter I knew all too
well; my twin brothers suddenly appeared on the gallery railing
overlooking the courts along with our au pair Stephanie. The rest of
the team shifted their focus in their direction and started to point.
One of my teammates whistled. Coach stopped right away at the catcall
and looked scoldingly at the group. He then looked straight at me. This
was admittedly quite awkward and yet I had to pretend otherwise, so I
waved up to them and shouted, “Just another minute and we’ll be done
this drill.”
“No - I think it’s time for you to go. The rest
of us will carry on just fine without you. I will commend you on the
way you’ve handled this situation. However, I’ll expect you fully in
uniform from this point onward. Have I made myself clear?” His tone of
voice and raised eyebrow made it clear that it was best to follow his
direction without further comment.
“Yes sir. I promise.” And
I nodded a quick farewell to the rest of my teammates as I headed out
the door, grabbed my racket and bookbag before heading up the stairs to
the gallery where my brothers and Stephanie were waiting.
Chapter 31 - Naked Contagion
As
I approached, I could see my brothers staring at me wide eyed.
Stephanie on the other hand had her arms crossed across her chest, head
tilted slightly to one side, and she was looking at me with undisguised
amusement. “So, Tyler, …when your mother called me this morning and
said I was to pick you up, she mentioned that you’d gotten yourself in
some trouble and you were in the process of being punished. She didn’t
however spell out for me what that really meant.” She raised her
eyebrows provocatively. “You must have had an interesting day; your
brothers and I can’t wait to hear more about it.”
“Yeah, I
want to hear about your trip to Ms. Stewarts class; the whole lower
school was buzzing about it at the end of the day.” It was Luke; he
could barely contain himself.
“Is it true you spent the whole period totally starkers in front of the class?” asked Leo.
“And showing off your willie?” added Luke.
“I heard that you got a boner in front of the class!” Leo again.
“And that you even walked around showing it off to everyone!” added
Luke. Their enthusiasm was out of control; I couldn’t keep up with
their rapid-fire questions.
“And you even shared some sort of goo that came from your penis.”
“Everyone was talking about how you made fun of Philip as well.”
“You gotta tell us all about it!” There was a hint of awe in their
voices; it made me think that I was some sort of celebrity. Stephanie’s
eyes meanwhile had doubled in size as she listened to this small
fraction of what I’d been through.
“Yes,” I replied in a
slow and measured voice in an effort to temper their unrestrained
eagerness, “It was, I fully admit, a very interesting day. Let’s hop
into the car, shall we, and I can fill you in.” And when they’d climbed
into the back and I had methodically put on my seatbelt, I turned
around to my brothers and continued, “But before I do, I’d love to hear
from you about any other rumors that you heard about Ms. Stewart’s
class, especially any feedback from Philip about his experience.” As I
expected, that prompted my brothers to rehash in greater detail the
soundbites they’d already shared along with the psychological interplay
I’d had with Philip. It confirmed what I had thought, that somehow I’d
managed to avoid being the laughingstock of lower school and had
managed also to shift much of my own awkwardness onto poor Philip, who
was the butt of many a joke after that class. I had to smile.
I then filled them in on some of the highlights of the day,
specifically my experience in English class and the essay I had to
write, along with some segments of History class - especially that
lesson about punishment: that it is only punishment if what you are
enduring is actually unpleasant, and so I’d made a conscious choice
half way through the day to focus on ways to make it pleasant. Then I
told them about my brief but fun frisbee game at lunch. I left out of
course the entire horrible scene with father at the beginning of the
day and a handful of moments that I would rather forget if I could.
Thankfully, what I shared with them was enough to last the trip home
and satisfy a least a portion of their insatiable curiosity.
When we pulled into the driveway, I hopped out and asked them if they’d
be up for resuming our soccer game from the day before.
“Sure …but you’re naked.” Luke questioned.
“So what Luke?” I quickly responded. “That won’t stop me from kicking your puny little ass.”
“No way - game on!” Luke retorted. I smiled; it’s so easy to manipulate my brothers.
“OK -Same teams as yesterday: Leo and I against you and Stephanie.” I
looked over at Stephanie hoping she’d go along with the plan and could
tell from her expression that she was willing, albeit begrudgingly, to
join the fun. Given that she was in charge of the twins for the
afternoon, she didn’t really have too much of a choice in the matter;
even so, I appreciated her being a good sport about it. Within a
minute, we were kicking the ball around and laughing a ton. Another few
minutes after that, I had worked up a full sweat and I knew the others
were likely feeling the heat as well. I said, “By the way, one of the
advantages of being naked, Luke, is that your sweat cools you off as
you run around. Much more comfortable on a day like this than wearing
clothes. Feel free to make yourselves more comfortable.” They were
still in their lower school uniforms.
“What do you mean? …that we get naked too?” It was Leo and he was looking at me incredulously.
“If you want.” I said with a nonchalant shrug. “It really is sort of
fun.” Both boys looked at me skeptically, then looked at each other for
a bit. It was Leo who took the lead as he pealed off his clothes,
“Okay, I’ll give it a try. I’m on the skin’s team.”
“Wait a
second. If you get to be naked, so do I.” said Luke petulantly as he
too quickly began to discard his clothes. “You too, Stephanie!” shouted
Leo. “You should strip as well. We’ll all be naked together.” I laughed
out loud at the unfiltered absurdity of his suggestion.
She
looked at me disapprovingly clearly blaming me on this change in plans.
Then she looked at Leo. “That’s not happening, Leo. In fact, I think
it’s time for me to let you all have your fun. I’ll be inside.” and
with that she gave me the evil eye and made her escape. It never
entered my mind to ask her to join my brothers in this adventure, but
my brothers are too adorably innocent to understand. In any event,
Stephanie took her leave and the three of us played a modified game of
keep-away; the two of them against me. It was a blast and my brother’s
laughter was a clear sign that they were very much enjoying running
around in their birthday suits.
About thirty minutes later,
my father’s car pulled into the driveway. I must confess that I’d been
thinking about how I was going to deal with this moment for much of the
last half hour. I knew that he’d have spoken with Mr. Innovata and
suspected that he would be pleased with the report on how I navigated
the day. I was reasonably sure also that he’d say something nice and
consoling while returning to me the box with my clothes. What I wasn’t
so sure about was how I wanted to respond to such an offer. I heard the
car door shut. My stomach was in knots; I kept kicking the ball around
with Luke and Leo, but all my attention was now on the imminent sound
of my father’s approach. What was this emotion that had so suddenly
risen up in me? I struggled to identify it. I felt so conflicted. I
thought about the moment I’d last seen him; the image of him leaving
the conference room with my clothes and leaving me stripped of all
dignity and forced to face the day utterly defenseless. I was angry;
the resentment I felt was pulsing within me. How is it that I can
admire my father more than I could ever express, but at the same time
want to kill him.
I could feel my head pounding with each
beat of my heart. How was this encounter going to go? I felt a drop of
sweat fall from my nose as I saw my father turn the corner and come to
a sudden standstill. He stayed silent as he looked at the three of us.
I pretended to be still caught up in the game with my brothers, but Leo
stopped a few moments later as he saw father and immediately spoke up.
“Hi Father! We’ve joined Tyler and it’s lots of fun. It’s actually
cooler with all this heat to play without clothes.” My father remained
quiet for quite a while before responding in a calm and even voice.
“I can see you’re having fun. That’s good; I’m glad to hear it. I love
seeing my three sons having fun together.” then, after another lengthy
pause, added, as I suspected he would, “…but now it’s time for me to
have a little talk with your older brother. Perhaps the two of you can
put some clothes on while I speak with Tyler, OK?” And I noted that
both Luke and Leo seemed disappointed but resigned nevertheless to
doing what father asked. Before today, I’d have done likewise, but
instead, I spoke up doing the best I could to maintain a measured and
reasonable tone to my voice.
“Are you suggesting, Father,
that there is something wrong about Luke and Leo being naked? Is it
inappropriate? …I’m just wondering because if there is, then I have to
wonder why you thought it would be a good thing for me to spend my
whole day that way.” My brothers stopped dead in their tracks upon
hearing me question father that way. It was something I’d almost never
done and certainly not in front of them, but I simply had to; I
couldn’t contain myself and lurking just beneath the surface was an
anger about the whole day that I’d not even acknowledged till then.
Father looked at me a bit surprised; he clearly sensed the angry edge
in my tone despite my efforts to hide it. There was another lengthy
silence; his left eyebrow raised inquisitively as he looked at the
three of us for a long while. Then he smiled ever so slightly as he
said softly, “My apology, Tyler, I did not mean to imply that there was
anything wrong or inappropriate, I only wanted to have a conversation
with you regarding the day’s experience and ensure that all the proper
lessons were learned. But I’d like to do that when you are good and
ready, so I will leave you all to play for a bit more and I’ll be in my
office ready to meet with you when you are done here. Will 20 minutes
be about right, Tyler?” He was smiling. This wasn’t at all what I
expected. I wasn’t at all sure how to respond.
“Will 20
minutes be about right?” he asked again with gentle insistence. I
finally nodded yes. He then turned with an amused nod of his head and
left us to play. One part of me wanted to yell at him; I had wanted a
confrontation if only to release the pent-up demons inside me. But how
can I be mad when he yielded so gracefully and even apologized? I had
to acknowledge however that even as he yielded, he’d managed to stay
very much in charge. I found myself admiring him all the more even as I
wanted to go to war with him.
Suddenly Luke kicked the ball
to Leo and shouted out a challenge to me that I couldn’t steal the ball
from the two of them. I turned my focus now to my twin brothers as they
began kicking the ball back and forth between them all the while
casting glances my way to see if I’d take up the challenge. They were
adorably cute in their utter disregard for their naked state - entirely
unbothered by their hairless bodies and puny penises. I noted that in
their prepubescent innocence, it had taken them less than twenty
minutes to embrace their nudity and they were perfectly happy to race
around that way. Would I have been the same at their age - hard to
imagine myself being so sweetly innocent; it was refreshing to see. I
fear that once one begins the journey to adulthood, there’s no going
back. When exactly was it that I became so self-conscious?
Fifteen minutes passed quickly, and I was beginning to think I’d better
face the fact that I needed to go speak with father. That I was now
dripping sweat made me think it would be a good idea to rinse off a
bit. I noticed that the garden hose was coiled up beside the house. I
told my brothers that I had to go but they should play on. I walked
over to the spigot and turned it full on. I then calmly aimed it at my
brothers and soaked them thoroughly; they expressed righteous outrage
at the unprovoked attack and with squeals of laughter, raced over my
way and grabbed the hose away from me and understandably returned the
favor. I only feigned resistance.
Thus, amidst lots of
laughter, I found myself reasonably well showered. I thanked my
brothers and retired into the house and up to my room to towel off. The
oppressive heat outside, seemed almost amplified in the stillness of my
attic room. I turned the ceiling fan on high and stood directly beneath
it for a few minutes which gave me a chance to collect my thoughts
while I finished drying off. I was determined to face my father with
the same resolve as I had the rest of the day; namely to embrace the
state I was in without flinching, without showing the slightest
embarrassment or in this case, seeming overly eager to get my clothes
back. Of course, my father had already witnessed my total humiliation
when the day began, and I wasn’t about to let that happen again. I was
going to be in control of my emotions this time; my pride was on the
line.
I stood for a moment in front of the mirror trying to
gather my confidence for my ‘discussion’ with father. Normally, when I
am about to head off to school or see friends, I’d be checking out my
looks and making some last-minute adjustments to my attire or brushing
my thick hair one last time, but in my state, there wasn’t much to
adjust if you know what I mean. So I stood tall, inhaled deeply, and
let out my breath with deliberate slowness... I was, I acknowledged, as
ready as I could be for this ‘little talk.’ with father. I therefore
headed back down to the coolness of the 1st floor, a
wonderful contrast to the sauna-like heat of my room. His office door
was open and so I quietly stepped into the room.
***