By Terosk
Copyright 2022 by Terosk, all rights reserved
* * * * *
Chapter 12 - At Home
Of course, since
I left practice early, I got home a bit early as well. My mom wasn’t
back yet, but my goofy twin brothers had returned, they were four years
younger, and both worshipped the ground I walk on – we get along well.
They were playing catch in the backyard while our live-in au pair,
Stephanie, a really cute blond girl from Sweden looked on. She was
actually 21 years old but could easily pass for a high school student.
She’d been with us since January and had quickly become a real hit with
my brothers …and not surprisingly, with me and my friends too. I
grabbed something to drink from the fridge and then headed out to join
them. We ended up playing 2 on 2 soccer – there was no way to make fair
teams, but I was good enough to make it seem like a competitive game.
We got interrupted when my mother returned and immediately called out
that she needed to speak with me “NOW”. I rolled my eyes. I knew this
was coming but at least for the last 20 minutes or so, I was able to
put the events of the day behind me and just have family fun. Mom
ushered me into her office and signaled for me to take a seat. Not an
auspicious sign.
After she looked at me for quite some time in
silence, she finally began, the anger in her voice barely contained,
“You, Tyler, are in big trouble. I’d yell at you if I had the strength,
but you’ve worn me out. Suffice it to say that your father and I are
really, really upset with you. You strut around as if you own this
place and as if everyone is here to serve you. I trust you are aware
that we approved of the punishment that you and your two accomplices
were to endure – we both agreed that it might just help you learn some
empathy and thus become a better, kinder, more patient person. But you
are just too stubborn sometimes, and you’ve now made things much worse.
Mr. Innovata said that we are to meet before school tomorrow at 7:30 to
discuss what comes next. I am sending you now to your room where you
will stay for the rest of the day – I don’t expect to hear a sound from
you. You’ll miss dinner, of course, but if you’re cooperative and do
what I ask, I’ll bring a plate of food up to you after the rest of us
have eaten. We’ll be getting up early tomorrow so you should get a good
night’s sleep. …you are dismissed. Go!”
Mom was clearly
worked up and it wasn’t worth the trouble of trying to defend what I’d
done, so I climbed two flights of stairs up to my 3rd floor
room, shut the door and flopped down on my bed. This, I thought, wasn’t
going to be a pleasant few days, but at least I didn’t have to answer
to my father since he was out of town. I should tell you about my
father. He’s the boss. Whatever he says goes. He never has to raise his
voice; indeed, he speaks very slowly and softly, but it is clear he’s
in charge and everybody knows it. He’s the CEO of some big
manufacturing company that has plants and offices all over the world so
he’s almost always traveling on business, but he’s a great father when
he’s around and always brings us cool gifts from wherever he’s been. He
took me and my brothers once to his office in New York – really
impressive view of the central park out of his penthouse office. But
what really impressed me was the way he strides with unhurried
confidence through the building smiling at everyone and calling them
out by name. And everyone greets him in return and are clearly eager to
please him. I must confess that he’s my hero and I hope one day to have
a job like his and have people revere me the way they do him.
I finished up what little homework I had while listening to some mellow
music softly enough so that mom wouldn’t notice. The night was hot and
the ceiling fan was doing its best to cool things off but it was still
uncomfortable. I decided to take a quick shower to cool off a bit so I
shed my clothes, wrapped a towel around my waist and headed down the
hallway to the one bathroom on the 3rd floor. We live in an
old stone farmhouse surrounded by nearly 4 acres of sweeping green
grass, some woods, and even a little stream that runs across the very
front of the property near the street. It’s an impressive house from
the outside and while I love the privacy of my 3rd floor
suite, it is missing one key feature – air conditioning. When it was
built in the early 1900s, there was no such thing, but my parents
installed central air on the first and second floor when they moved in
over 15 years ago, so things were always comfortable downstairs. Up
until last year, I had the bedroom next to my brothers who still share
the same room, but my parents allowed me to move to the 3rd floor at my request for my 13th
birthday. They even installed the ceiling fan and remodeled the
bathroom so it had a shower instead of a bath. I love it. I love having
the whole floor to myself.
As I headed down the hallway towards the shower, I heard the latch on the doorway to the 3rd
floor stairwell and my mom beginning to ascend so I quickly retreated
to my room, threw on a bathrobe, and went out to meet her. She handed
me a plate of lukewarm pasta telling me that when I was finished with
it to leave the plate at the top of the stairwell. She also reminded me
to get a good night sleep. That was it – she’s not one for small talk.
I heard her return downstairs. I ate the pasta without much enthusiasm,
put the plate outside my door. I was sweating despite the breeze from
the fan above me. I hung up my robe, grabbed my towel and headed to
take a shower. I let the water run just enough not to be cold then got
in – it felt good to cool off and I lingered for a bit before soaping
up and shampooing.
As I was toweling off, I stood in front
of the full-length mirror. I thought of Coach Terrell’s rebuke. He had
called me “Mr. Modesty” only because I wasn’t willing take off my
clothes, not because I was in anyway modest in the sense of humble. My
mom had called me arrogant earlier and said I was strutting around as
if I owned the place. Perhaps in a way she’s right – I do make an
effort to carry myself with supreme confidence; does that make me
arrogant? Mr. Terrell said that I was “uncomfortable in my own skin”
which as I looked in the mirror was total hogwash. I was a perfectly
comfortable in my own skin, indeed I wouldn’t want anyone else’s. I
flexed my muscles admiring my strong athletic build – no, I thought,
Coach Terrell is definitely wrong about that. But I did have to wonder
why was I so sheepish about others seeing my body?
I didn’t
have an answer to that, but it was certainly true – that I felt the
need to throw on my bathrobe when my mother appeared really didn’t make
sense, but as soon as I had reached puberty a few years ago, I had
become a bit shy. I think it started when I had gone for my annual
physical and our pediatrician, Dr. Cynthia Blunt, made me remove my
underwear for the dreaded hernia check. As she examined me down there
and inspected my growing manhood, she commented on how I’d grown and
said I was ‘well endowed.’ I remember feeling her hands around my balls
even as she said it. She think she thought it a compliment, but it made
me super self-conscious. It was super awkward, and I was so relieved
when that was over and I was able to covered myself up. When you are
little, before puberty, you don’t think twice about being naked, but
that all changes when you grow up.
In any event, in the
privacy of my own bathroom, I looked at myself with genuine admiration
– I was a handsome young man, and I knew it. …. but that didn’t mean
that I was going to get naked in front of my classmates! I returned to
my room, hung up the towel to dry and flopped myself down on the bed
letting the ceiling fan do whatever it could to make the heat less
intolerable. It must have worked pretty well since the next thing I can
remember was the voice of my mother calling up to me that I should get
up and ready for our meeting with Mr. Innovata.
This, I knew
was unlikely to be a ‘good’ day, given that I was heading into school
not by the bus with my friends, but with my mother, and that I was
heading not to my classes but to a meeting that was going to outline
the specifics of my suspension and probation. It did seem ironic that I
was getting dressed in coat and tie, our school uniform, just to go to
a meeting which would be sending me straight home. But I dutifully got
dressed, tucked my shirt in, tightened the school tie around my neck
and headed down to grab a bite to eat before heading off to school with
my mother. She had a bowl of cereal waiting for me and didn’t say a
word during the few minutes it took for me to eat. She was clearly
upset about this whole thing and still angry at me. I couldn’t think of
anything to say to make things better, especially while I was trying to
eat, so it was a silent breakfast. As soon as I was done and I’d put my
dishes in the washer, I took a deep breath, grabbed my book bag so I
could load up on the books I’d need, and headed out to the car. It was
time to get going and I was determined to accept the consequences of
probation stoically.
As soon as I got outside, it was like a
wave of heat hit me – it was going to be oppressively hot today. As I
got in the car, I quickly put the AC on full blast; it occurred to me
though that the sooner we got this meeting over with, the sooner I’d be
back home, and I could shed this ridiculous coat and tie so ill-suited
for this extreme heat. I checked the forecast and it said there could
be record highs today close to triple digits. Good time to be indoors
with AC.
Chapter 13 - Day of Reckoning
The
drive to school is less than 15 minutes and it was, as expected, a
pretty quiet ride. My mother kept her eyes on the road and wasn’t even
trying to engage in small talk. I was admittedly not really keen on it
either, but as we entered the school premises, she seemed about to say
something but then decided better of it. She was clearly worried in a
way that was very unusual. She normally put on this no-nonsense stoic
front, but as we got closer to this meeting, she seemed increasingly
anxious. “What’s wrong Mom?” I finally said, “I know I’m in trouble and
am about to get suspended. And I’m not at all happy about it, but at
the same time, I’ve come to accept it as the inevitable and I’ll be OK.
I really will be. …and then we can drive back home, and I can get out
of this silly coat and tie. I’ll do the homework assigned, even if I
miss the classes; you know I will. I have a straight A average, as you
know, and I have every intention of keeping it that way. So just relax;
I’ll be OK.”
We had arrived at the main building, and she
pulled into one of the parking spots reserved for visitors. “Yes,
Tyler, I suppose you’re right.” she finally said, “You’re a resilient
kid and I know you’ll make the best of it. But I have to be honest with
you. I am worried. I do hope you’ll conduct yourself in there
appropriately, no matter what happens, that’s all.” It was the only
time that morning that we made eye contact and I could see she was
really truly worried, almost panicked, which of course got me a little
panicked myself. I truly thought I knew what was going to happen – Mr.
Innovata was going to sit me down and review in front of my mom all the
school rules and policies that I’d broken and then spell out the time
frame of my suspension and probation. I’d played that conversation out
in my head a dozen times already so I was as ready as I could be. “Come
on, Mom, let’s go and get this over with.”
We got out of the
car and walked together into the building. Mr. Innovata was waiting in
the lobby for us and greeted us with a pleasant smile, “Good morning,
Mrs. Formale. Thanks for being willing to meet with us on such short
notice. I hope it hasn’t inconvenienced you too much.” And then he
turned to me, “So Tyler, are you ready?”
“Yes,” I responded trying to hide my impatience. “Let’s get this over with.”
“OK then, please come this way. We’re going to the conference room
rather than my office.” and with that he led us down the adjacent
hallway and ushered us into a large room with windows looking out over
the campus green and one long conference table dominating the center of
the room. “Please have a seat at the end of the table, Tyler. The
others will be here shortly. And Mrs. Formale, would you be kind enough
to step outside with me for a second.” And with that my mother took one
quick nervous glance back at me as she followed him back out into the
hallway. I was alone now in this unfamiliar room, and I have to confess
that I was getting very nervous. I was expecting to be in Mr.
Innovata’s office and only having to deal with him. Who were these
others that he spoke of? My stomach was in knots as I looked around the
room. Not much to look at really – just the big, long ornate wooden
table surrounded by fancy desk chairs on all sides. There were a few
small tables along the exterior walls underneath the windows that
extended from about waist height to the ceiling. It was an impressive
view of the campus green below and I could see a handful of teachers
and staff making their way to their classrooms. I didn’t see any
students yet, but they’d begin arriving any time now. Homeroom wasn’t
for another half hour.
The door opened. In walked my mother
followed by my father and Mr. Innovata who was finishing a comment
under his breath, “…so it will entirely depend on how Tyler chooses to
respond.”
I was totally taken aback – my father shouldn’t be
here; he had been out of the country on business and wasn’t going to be
back for another week. He turned his attention to me and quietly said,
“Hello son.”
“Hi Father,” I stammered, “Mom told me you were on a business trip and wouldn’t be back for another week.”
“True – I was in Toronto,” he explained matter-of-factly, “but I
understand you are having a challenging time navigating the cultural
norms and expectations here at St. Francis Academy, so I changed my
plans so I could be here to help you make better choices. I must say I
was disappointed when your mother called me last night telling me that
you had opted out of the one-day punishment that had been designed for
you. I do think it would have done you good. Because I love you and
want you to become an upstanding citizen, I decided that it was best if
I could make it here this morning, so I arranged a flight back that
arrived first thing this morning and I came straight here. Mr. Innovata
has filled me in on the list of infractions you’ve piled up and the
arrogant attitude you brought to yesterday’s meeting with him.”
“Obstinate maybe, but not ….” I was about to object to the word
arrogant, but he cut me off with a gentle hand motion as he said
without raising his voice, “Please Tyler, let me finish and I promise
I’ll give you a chance to share your perspective.” and then he
continued, “So it seems that you refused to cooperate with what the
school and your parents were asking of you. So now we are here today to
decide how best to move forward. If you are not willing to play by
school rules and then take the consequences that are doled out, then I
was thinking of simplifying the process for you by laying out two
distinctly different alternatives and let you choose the one you think
will best help you learn what it means to be a positive, caring,
contributing member of a community. We all know that you’re a bright
and capable young man; we are proud of your accomplishments on both the
academic and athletic front, but you must understand that far more
important than your laudable high marks and your impressive win/loss
record is your character. Character is everything, and that will be the
focus of our efforts this morning.” My dad spoke with an easy and
effortless confidence that made it hard to contradict him. He continued
after a pause, “So I believe you were objecting to something I said
earlier about your attitude. What was it? Was it the word ‘arrogant’?”
I nodded yes, but when he asked me to explain my actions and words
during yesterday’s meeting with Mr. Innovata, I was at a loss for
words. He waited patiently for me to come up with some explanation but
eventually, I acknowledged that I could see how my conduct might fit
the definition of arrogant.
Chapter 14 - The Choice
“OK
then, Tyler, are you ready to face today’s disciplinary meeting with a
more open mind, a positive attitude, and a genuine willingness to
embrace the punishment that will help you learn empathy, to fully
experience what it means to step out of your own shoes and into someone
else’s, to see the world through a lens other than your own? That, my
son, is the goal for today, and I do believe your mother and I have two
distinctly different ways to help you reach that goal. Are you ready to
hear them?
“I guess so.” I responded softly.
My
dad then reached for his briefcase beneath the table, opened it, and
grabbed a folder which he slid across the table to me. “Open it up and
take a look.” It was a brochure for an all-boys boarding school in
rural NY. With a look of disbelief, I looked up at him, “You’re not
serious, are you? I don’t want to leave St. Francis – I love it here.
I’m doing really well here.” He didn’t answer but just signaled for me
to continue examining the brochure. I flipped through a few pages – it
was a military style school designed to help troubled teen boys learn
how to become responsible members of society through rigorous
discipline. “You’ve got to be kidding, this is not for me.
“Perhaps not, but this is one of your two options, so you should make
sure to learn about it rather than dismiss it out of hand. You should
keep in mind that I briefly attended a military school like that, and I
feel that I learned tons about how to be an effective leader from my
years spent there. I learned about discipline, hard work, and above all
teamwork. I learned about what it means to be a part of something
larger than myself, how to follow orders and how to give orders, how to
endure hardship and how to celebrate successes without hubris. In
short, I owe a lot of my present success to the values I learned during
my high school years at SMA.
“Tyler,” he continued, “I
happen to believe that you have the makings of a fine leader someday,
but remember that real leadership involves understanding and
empathizing with others. While you clearly have a lot going for you,
empathy and understanding others is clearly a weak link in your overall
character. We aim today to take the first steps to correcting that. It
turns out that the head of that school is a friend of mine and he’s
agreed to meet with us later today if you wish to explore this option
further. There is space available for you to enroll immediately as an 8th grade cadet.
I looked again at the brochure at a page outlining living arrangements
and a typical day. I’d be stuck in a barrack filled with 20 other boys
lined up in 10 bunk beds. We’d be awakened each day at 6:15 and out
doing mandatory morning exercises by 6:45 -7:30, then back to our
barracks to shower and get ourselves ready for breakfast at 8:00.
Classes started at 9:00. I didn’t bother reading on – this wasn’t going
to be the option I took. I closed the brochure and slid it back across
the desk to my father. I didn’t speak for a full minute as my father
looked at me inquisitively.
“Ok,” I finally said, “What’s the other option?”
My father nodded to Mr. Innovata who stood up and opened the door into
an adjacent room and returned a second later with that box I’d seen
yesterday with my name still on it. He placed it on the table in front
of me, then returned to his seat. I could feel all eyes on me waiting
for my reaction. I just stared at the box, then at the others making
every effort to show no signs of the turmoil roiling within me, then
back to the box and then to the brochure now sitting on the table in
front of my father. When he saw my eyes looking in that direction, he
then pushed it back to me without saying a word. Eventually I pushed
the box away and picked up the brochure again. I looked at the pictures
of a line of kids my age in full uniform standing at attention and
saluting superiors, another of a similar group of boys in fatigues all
in proscribed lines doing marching drills with guns. There was another
picture, a bit blurry, that showed a group of boys identically dressed
in nothing but a pair of white cotton briefs in their barracks standing
at attention as their personal space was being inspected by some
officer. Another still fuzzy picture of a new recruit getting his hair
shaved off. I blinked and discovered that the images weren’t at all
fuzzy, but my eyes were betraying me. I was gritting my teeth and
fighting off tears, but I was losing the battle. Eventually, in a
choked-up voice, I looked at my father again,
“You’re kidding, right?”
He laughed, “What do you think?”
“Yes.” I said plaintively
“Nice try.” he responded with a growing smile.
“This isn’t funny.”
“That depends, Tyler, entirely on your perspective.”
“Well – not from mine, that’s for sure.”
“Exactly.” he responded still smiling; and then added with a wink, “but
there are always different perspectives, and if you’re going to be
successful in this world, you need to be able to see the world and
especially yourself through the perspective of others, and I promise
you that there is a lot of humor in what is happening right now and the
predicament that you presently find yourself in.” and then he paused
and locked his eyes on mine, “Can you see the humor? Go ahead. Try.
Pretend for a second, Tyler, that you were observing this very scene
except that instead of you, it was Thane, or Theo, or pick anyone else
you like; let's just suppose it was Arthur.” and despite myself I let
my mind picture Theo squirming in my place.
“OK, maybe you’re right.” I confessed and I found myself smiling for just a second as I said it.
“Seeing yourself and your circumstances through the lens of another
person really isn’t all that difficult, but it does takes practice. And
it is an essential life skill that you in particular need to work on.”
He took a deep breath and looked at me again with a sober intensity,
“So Tyler, what’s your choice?”
Chapter 15 - The Box
I pushed the brochure back to him and nodded to the box.
“Okay – the box it is.” he said as he put the brochure back into his briefcase.
I then asked, “Mr. Innovata, what time should I come to your office to do what I have to do with that box?”
“Son,” my father said, “that was yesterday, and if you had chosen the
box yesterday as designed, you’d have spent only the afternoon science
class without your clothes, but since you made a poor choice then, the
consequences today are more severe. It is time you begin to understand
that. Is that clear. So please, let’s stop stalling and get on with it.”
“What? Here? Now?” I stammered as I looked around …at mom …and then the
windows overlooking the campus. I could feel a panic coming on as I
tried to find a way out.
“Tyler, I rarely loose my patience,
but you’re beginning to test that boundary. Now please, embrace the
choice you’ve made and get on with it.” The was a sharpness to the tone
of dad’s voice that made it clear he meant business. I swallowed hard,
my jaw clenched, my stomach churned, but it was the tears; tears
escaped my eyes even as I clamped them shut. Things were beginning to
spin. I couldn’t believe this wasn’t happening. I’d never live it down;
my reputation would be lost.
A gentle calming voice, “If you
start with your shoes, it’ll be easiest.” It was Mr. Innovata. I leaned
over and untied my shoes and took them off. “Now put them in the box.”
I picked them up and put them in the box. “Now the socks.” and I slowly
worked them off my feet and tossed those too into the box. I stood
there barefooted as if awaiting the next instruction.
My
father spoke up, “Tyler, I believe you know how to get undressed
yourself without any prompting. If you can’t man up to the consequences
of your own choices, then I’ll offer you one last time the option of
heading off to military school, in which case we’ll have you enrolled
by sundown this evening. Otherwise, you had better get on with it.”
I was angry, not sure really at what, but I could feel the anger
swelling within me. It had become increasingly clear that I was no
longer in charge, I had lost the ability to influence what was
happening to me. I was trapped and I both hated and rebelled against
it. I removed my blazer with defiance in my eyes and threw it into the
box and ripped the tie off my neck and did the same. The buttons on my
shirt were more difficult and while I gritted my teeth and clenched my
jaw, I managed to get my shirt fully unbuttoned revealing my bare
stomach and chest. It was at this point my father said softly, “Who are
you angry at, Tyler? Am I being unfair? Is life unfair? Please help me
understand why you seem to be so distressed and angry. None of this
would be happening if you had made better choices along the way. So
please tell me where the injustice is, …or accept the punishment you
yourself have chosen.” He waited for a response, but I had no response,
which made me even angrier. Was I angry at him? …or at myself? …or at
the swirling emotions that refused to accept that which was becoming
increasingly unavoidable. “So once again, Tyler, I ask that you get on
with it.”
Tears now rimmed my eyes as I clenched my teeth even
tighter and removed my shirt and threw that too in the box. I unbuckled
my belt, pulled it free from my slacks and threw it angrily also into
the box. I now had on only my dress pants, and for a few moments I
stood looking forlornly at the growing contents of the box, tears now
flowing freely as I unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and slid them down
my thighs to my ankles. Against every instinct at self-preservation, I
stepped out of my pants and tossed them too into the box. Now only in
my underwear, I stood up and looked at my parents. My mother as she met
my eyes began to tear up.
“Mom?” I said chokingly through my own tears, “Why are you crying? I’m the one suffering here.”
“Oh Tyler, I can’t help but feel your pain and my stomach turns
watching you suffer. I am truly sorry you have to go through this, but
I also know that until you do, you’ll never really understand what it
means ‘to empathize” with someone else. So, I am crying because you are
crying …and that’s OK. Please know that I love you and while you suffer
through the challenges in front of you today, I’ll be suffering along
with you. …. because I love you. I also have faith that you’ll grow
from this experience.”
My father, however, wasn’t willing to
be so patient, “Tyler, let’s finish up please.” and he looked at me
with an impatience that spelled trouble. I took a deep breath, closed
my eyes to pretend this wasn’t really happening, and slid down my last
piece of clothing to my feet and kicked them away from me.
“Alright, now put your underwear in the box and bring it here.” My
father had clearly reached the end of his patience, so I stooped down,
picked up my briefs and threw it into the box and then shoved it across
the table in his direction. “I’m fully 100% naked. Are you satisfied
now?”
My father took the box from the table slowly as if
counting to ten, then in a very soft but distinct voice said, “Tyler, I
remind you that attitude is everything and the manner in which you’ve
dealt with this challenge thus far is far from ideal. I am convinced
that you can learn a lot from this experience, but only if you
acknowledge that you put yourself in this position and are willing
embrace the consequences as a part of understanding empathy. Perhaps
you’ll someday learn how to shed a tear on someone else’s behalf.”
Then he stood up with the box in his hands and turned to Mr. Innovata.
“I thank you for allowing me to participate and indeed to replay the
punishment you designed for Tyler yesterday. It is a great shame that
he didn’t embrace it fully when you outlined it for him yesterday. I am
concerned, I must confess, by the way he’s thus far responded and that
he’s still struggling to see his actions through any lens other than
his own. We still have some work to do, it seems. So if you don’t mind,
I’ll take this box with me now and return it to Tyler this evening when
he gets back home.” and then he turned and added, “…if and only if you
give me a positive report as to how he’s cooperated with today’s plans.
If for any reason you think he falls short of your expectations, rest
assured that he’ll remain in his present condition until he finally
grows up and shows the maturity we all hope for.” And with that he
turned away from me and made his way to the door.
“No way –
you can’t do that!” I was in a total panic. …my clothes were in that
box and dad was threatening to take it with him until I got home
tonight. But how could I get home…without a stitch of clothing. Naked
on the bus – they’d not allow it.
Mr Innovata came to the
rescue, “Mr Formale, I do appreciate your support as we try to find the
right disciplinary punishment for your wonderful but wayward son, but
we can’t put him on the bus without clothing. The bus system isn’t
our’s, it’s the townships. If you take his clothes now, you’ll have to
arrange to pick him up; he can’t go on the bus.” It was music to my
ears to have at least someone in my corner as I argued for some small
reprieve from my misery.
My father turned to my mom and asked, “Katherine, can you pick him up at the end of tennis practice this afternoon?”
“Not sure I can - I’ve an afternoon meeting that may not be over by
then. But perhaps we can ask Stephanie to pick him up. She’ll have the
twins with her, but I guess that would work.”
“Please, Mom, not Stephanie and the twins! It’s bad enough to be like this at school, but I don’t …”
My father interrupted, “That’s enough Tyler. I’ve had enough of your
whining; grow up! …and of course Stephanie and your brothers are going
to see you ‘like this’ since you’ll not be getting any of your clothes
back until I get home and we have a discussion about how today’s
experience went for you and how you’ve responded.” and then he turned
to Mr. Innnovata and asked, “Would it be okay if I gave you a call
midafternoon to get your perspective on how things went?”
“Yes – between 4:00 – 5:00 I’ll be in my office. I’ll expect your call.”
“Thanks; that should work with my schedule as well. And please know how
very much Kathrine and I appreciate all the trouble you’ve gone through
to help Tyler out.” and then he picked up the box and headed for the
door. Before leaving however, he turned back to me and said, “Tyler –
one word of advice, my son: the more fully you embrace today’s
experience, the better it will be for you, and the more likely you’ll
never have to repeat it. I will expect to hear a glowing report when I
speak with Mr. Innovata this afternoon. …and by glowing report, I mean
that I expect confirmation that you cooperated fully and
unconditionally with whatever is asked of you - right away, and without
any lip. Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes – crystal!” I said
through gritted teeth as once again tears brimmed my eyes. I could see
him take a deep breath as he considered making an issue of my attitude,
but he exhaled slowly, regained his composure, and left. I watched my
clothes and my dignity disappearing down the hallway.
My
mother then stood up, turned to Mr. Innovata, and said, “Alfred and I
can’t thank you enough – we truly believe that Tyler’s a good kid, but
he’s going through a rough spell right now. I know you’ve had to
dedicate far too much time dealing with his antics and attitude. Let’s
hope that things will change after today.”
Then she turned to
me, “And Tyler, I’ll see you this evening. Good luck today, and don’t
forget, we do love you, we really do.” and then she turned and walked
out the door. I wanted to chase her down and make her take me home, but
I knew that wasn’t going to happen, so I remained seated at the big
conference table with Mr. Innovata just looking at me as if he was
trying to decide what to do next. I looked down at my now naked body
which was soon to be on display for the whole school. As I had
acknowledged to myself last night, I was not uncomfortable in my own
skin; I was not in any way ashamed of my body, but my nakedness today,
after what I had said yesterday to Theo and Thane, represented a huge
and embarrassing defeat. Once I walk out of this room and my classmates
see me humbled in this way, how could I ever again claim to be my own
boss, to be the master of my own circumstances. But now everything was
flipped upside down; my reputation was going to be totally ruined. I’d
be the laughingstock of the class, and I couldn’t figure out any way to
avoid it. This was going to be the worst day in my life. I wished that
I could curl up and die.
“Hey Tyler,” Mr. Innovata said
softly, “lets head down to my office so I can get you set for the day.”
and with that he signaled for me to get up and follow him. I took a
deep breath, stood up and followed.