Fifth Grade Science Fair

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This story is intended for adults only. It contains depictions of forced nudity, spanking, and sexual activity of preteen and young teen children for the purpose of punishment. None of the behaviors in this story should be attempted in real life, as that would be harmful and/or illegal. If you are not of legal age in your community to read or view such material, please leave now.

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Remember the old-fashioned science fairs in elementary school? Here’s one I’ll never forget and it wasn’t even my project.

Fifth Grade Science Fair

By, Running Bare

“Roger, your mother and I would like to talk to you. You can go back to your homework after dinner.”

Dad rarely called a “discussion” about anything. I wonder what in the hell I’d done that he and Mom were so concerned as to call a private meeting. Thankfully my nosey sisters and younger brother were out in the neighborhood and out of earshot from anything of import.

I sat on the sofa next to Mom and Dad sat in his recliner but didn’t put the foot lift up. He looked out the living room window almost pensively before he started.

“Coach Wilke called your mother today.”

Wow that burns. What the hell could have said to make this meeting happen? Dad isn’t angry and Mom has the look that she’s just here to be supportive.

“What did he want?”

“He’s concerned that you aren’t showering after P.E. He said you and two other boys are,” he looked toward Mom, “’body shy’. Was that the term?”

“Yes. He called it body shy.”

“Roger, you’re a boy. Boys aren’t supposed to be embarrassed to be naked in the locker rooms or anywhere around other boys. It’s just not normal for you to be worried about being naked. In fact, eleven-year-old boys aren’t supposed to be ashamed to be naked anywhere. It’s just not normal.”

I thought my delay tactics after P.E. waiting until the class change bell rang to change as the other boys were rushing out to get to the next class kind of diverted attention from my quick nakedness from gym shorts and jock to underwear and more conservative attire. Apparently, Mr. Wilke was fully attentive to it. I can feel my face heating up with a mix of embarrassment and concern.

“We need for you to be aware that we want you to get over this problem. We want you to shower and change with the other boys. You know you’re growing up and showering after exercise is essential to your health and even your social growth. Within a year or two, you’re going to stink after P.E. and it won’t help you with the young ladies or anyone else if that happens.”

A surge of courage helped me formulate a response, “I could care less about the young ladies. But I do care about being called ‘Long Dong Mitchell’ by the other kids. I had my fill of that when three of the boys caught me changing last month. I waited to put the damned jock on just as the rest of the class ran out to the gym, but three of them came back in as I fumbled with the damned jock. They saw me naked and one of them said something about how long my penis was and they started calling me ‘Long Dong Mitchell’. I hate it.”

Mom butted into the conversation, “Well, I think I can manage that if I talk to the Coach. He can probably make that stop. Do you think your penis is that much longer than the other boys’?”

What could I say? “No, but they do and that’s all that matters.”

Dad chimed in, “There’s a more ‘masculine’ way to handle this rather than calling Coach Wilke, Hun. If you do that, it might just make it worse.”

Okay, Dad. I’m all ears. By the way, you’re right about calling him and tattling would make it worse.

“You need to strip naked and strut into the shower. When one of them makes a remark you just cradle your package and say, ‘Jealous? Don’t you wish?’. That should shut them up. Just act like you’re proud of your boyhood and like their teasing doesn’t bother you.”

All well and good, Dad, but it does bother me. The teasing hurts. Wearing the damned gym shorts with nothing but a jock on under them bothers me too. I hate wearing shorts anyway. Just gives Mom’s friends another thing to comment on. “Look at those muscular little legs.” I’m tired of it. Just nod, wipe the tear that running down your cheek and ignore his advice.

“I think you need to be proud of your body. Look I’ll call Mr. Wilke. I’m going to tell him to use his paddle if you don’t shower. That should motivate you. How embarrassed would you be if you get your bare ass busted in front of the other boys? You’ve got to get over this. It just isn’t healthy.”

Cut the crying. He really thinks this will help. It won’t. But, shit, I can’t let Wilke paddle me in front of the other guys. That’d be real embarrassing.

“George, that won’t help matters. If he gets spanked in front of the other boys? He’ll get teased more. Why don’t we suggest Miss Evans talk with him? She’s a counselor. Maybe we can work through this without creating a bigger problem.”

Thanks Mom, but who wants to talk to woman about this? Not me.

“I’ll try Dad’s idea. But please don’t talk to Coach Wilke about it. Let me try to do it myself.”

“Okay. But I have to tell him we discussed the matter with you and you said you’d be more attentive to your hygiene.”

Following our “chat”. My siblings Susan (10) and my brother Ted (8) were summoned by Mom to dinner. They came in completely oblivious to what had transpired.

At we began to eat Dad made his usual inquiries about our day at school. Susan talked about James, whoever he was, and how he got paddled for talking back to the teacher. Mom raised her eyebrow and reminded her if she ever got paddled at school, she’d get another when she got home. Susan was quick to remind her, “Only boys get paddled. They don’t paddle girls.”

Yeah, what the hell is with that. I don’t ever remember a girl getting spanked at school, but boy do I remember boys getting it. Me included. Girls just had to go stand in the corner or miss recess. Boys always got an ass warming and sometimes had to miss recess on top of it. Just unfair. At least we got to keep our pants on when we got it. Not like at home. Dad makes me take my pants and underwear off at home and I’m sure it wouldn’t bother him a bit if the school made me do the same damn thing.

“So James had a bad day! I’m more interested in how your day went.”

“Mrs. Johnson told us we all had to think of a science project for the science fair. She said it had to be harder than the ones we did last year since we were in fifth grade. I don’t know what I want to do yet.”

Mom ever the stickler for planning asked, “When does it have to be done?”

“She said it will be the end of January. So, we’ve got the whole Christmas break to work on it. She said Crystal and I could team up, but, if we did, it’d better be a really good project or our grades would suffer.”

Dad felt the need to question her. “So, you and Crystal are going to do one together? Sounds like Mrs. Johnson was warning you that it might not be a good idea.”

I remember those science fair things from third grade on. Now that I’m in middle school I don’t have to worry about them. But they weren’t so bad. I like science.

Mom pulled me into the conversation, “Last year Roger did one with seeds and different kinds of fertilizer. Remember all those Styrofoam cups lined up on the window sill in the family room? What was it you measured?”

“I gave each seed a different amount of fertilizer, the same amount of water, and kept them at the same window to see which amount of plant food made them grow faster. My hypothesis was plants with more food would grow quicker.”

Boy explaining that made me feel smart.

Dad asked, “And, how’d that turn out?”

“They all came up about the same time. I’m not sure it made any difference. Mrs. Johnson (yeah the same one) just said sometimes what we expect doesn’t happen, our hypothesis doesn’t work out, but it’s all good information for the scientist.”

It sounded like bullshit to me, but hey she was the teacher and I got a B. So, who’s complaining?

How about you, Teddy? How was your day?”

“I got an 83 on the math test.”

“Bet you could do better than that. Is there going to be a makeup for you to try to improve your grade?”

“Dad, 83 is average and I’m an average kind of guy. Why would I want to retake the test?”

His response brought a round of laughter.

“You will take the retest if it’s offered. You’re better than an ‘average kind of guy’. Understood?”

There goes Dad and his competitive push. The kid has my attitude about the school stuff.

Instead of questioning me, he moved on to tell a story about two of his employees. I guess he felt our pre-dinner meeting was enough information about my day.

“Chuck and Gordy went hunting this past weekend. Apparently, Gordy decided to try to get across Butcher’s Creek on the ice.” He shook his head and laughed. “The dumb shit was about twenty feet out when the ice cracked and Chuck said he just kind of sank. When he finally had managed to work his way back to shore, he started laughing and kept talking about shrinkage from the cold water. What kind of doofus doesn’t know it’s early winter and the ice hasn’t really built up enough to support the weight of a man, much less a man Gordy’s size?” He let out another hearty laugh.

Teddy apparently had been attentive. His take away from that was “Daddy, what’s shrinkage mean?”

Mom and Dad exchange smiling glances.

I guess Teddy wasn’t one to pay attention to Mom’s laundry wisdom. But maybe I’m wrong. That was a weird exchange of glances between Mom and Dad. Her look said, “You said it. You tell him.”

“What is shrinkage?” He wasn’t going to let go of it.

Dad had an immediate change of tone and put on his “serious teacher” demeanor. “Well, Teddy, you know how boys have penises and testicles?”

Oh shit. What’s this going to be about?

“Yeah, like Roger and me?”

“Yeah, like you and even me. When our penises and testicles get cold, they kind of move back into our bodies as much as they can to keep warm. Kind of like a turtle going into a shell. Your penis gets smaller and your testicles get tighter and your scrotum, you know your bag, they all kind of tighten up. That’s what that kind of ‘shrinkage’ means. The boy parts get smaller when they get cold.”

I can’t believe you had to explain that to him especially in front of Mom, and worse, Susan. I have to admit, I wasn’t in the know about it either. Never paid much attention to it.

“Hey, I think I just got an idea for a science project. Crystal and I could use Teddy and measure his penis and stuff at different temperatures to see how much the cold changes them.”

“You’re not going to use me.” Teddy was livid.

This conversation is going the wrong way. It’s only a matter of time before they start looking at me. Change the subject before someone homes in on you. Poopoo the idea as fast as you can.

For the sake of Teddy and me I had to jump into the conversation, “Do you seriously think Mrs. Johnson would let you do that?”

My challenge was answered by Mom, “Why not? Fifth grade is the sex-ed grade and their study might tie right in.”

What the hell? Mooommmm? What are you thinking? Hell no. She wouldn’t allow it. I mean letting some ten-year-old girls measure and take data on some kid’s penis and balls? Probably even have photos on the display. No, that wouldn’t fly. I’m sure of it.

“I’m not doin’ it!” Teddy was adamant.

Dad ignored Teddy’s refusal and sure enough and went exactly where I was afraid he’d go, “You know it might be a better idea to use Roger.”

Dad what the hell are you thinking. Hell no! You won’t use Roger. You think Teddy’s objection is firm. You haven’t seen nothin’ yet.

Susan grabbed onto the suggestion being raised up the pole, “Could we?”

Dad responded, “Could you what?”

“Could Crystal and I use Roger for the project?”

Dad be careful what you say. I’m serious I’m not playing.

“Maybe both. Depends on what you two come up with as a hypothesis. In the meantime, Mom will ask if Mrs. Johnson would allow it. No sense making any plans if she thinks it’s unacceptable.”

Now’s the time. Get the redness out of my face. I’m not sure if it’s embarrassment or anger, but it’s there. My face is hot.

“Let me help you with that. I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to let Susan, much less Crystal, see me naked much less feel my junk.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Were you at our predinner discussion? I mean are you aware of what we talked about. It might be just what we need to get you over the hump. Body shyness. Remember?”

Don’t act clueless now. He’ll let the contents of that discussion out and your brother and sister will know what was discussed. Wait and rebel when it’s just you and Mom and Dad. It’ll be easier.

“George we can talk about this later. Who wants dessert?”

Three kids and Dad all raised their hands and shouted, “Meeeee!”

Nice save, Mom. Makes me feel like you’re on my side.

Susan, my dear sister, finished her strawberry shortcake in record time and traipsed off to her room.

I know she’s going up there to call her sidekick and our next-door neighbor Crystal Atkins. She’s going to tell her everything that happened at the table. I bet they’ll be wishing with all they can muster that I end up having to let them use me as the subject of their science fair project. Right now, chances are pretty 50/50. Sounds like Dad is onboard and even excited about them using me especially if means me being naked and open to their “experiment”. Maybe he was just saying those things to scare me, but Mom seemed interested in the ideas. I’m not shitting, I’m not going to let my sister and Crystal experiment with my junk.

It was three days before anything was mentioned about any science fair projects. I’d pretty much erased the whole thing from my mind. That is until Mom called a meeting with Susan, Crystal and me after school that Thursday afternoon. Yeah, I remember it was a Thursday.

“I met with Mrs. Johnson about your sister and Crystal’s science fair project. She thought I was kidding until we got into it. She said, ‘If Roger is willing to let them, they have my blessing.’

“Well, Roger isn’t willing.”

“Let me finish. I said he has no choice. If the girls need him to be in their project, he will and so will his little brother if it calls for it. You will be their subject if they run the experiments.”

The Susan got a giddy smile and clapped in joy. Mom put a stop to it. “Don’t get excited. Mrs. Johnson wants you to write down your hypotheses and your experimental plan, including data collection, that’s what you are going to measure and how you will measure it, and then describe how you intend to report it. That’s a lot of work before she will give her final blessing.”

“Roger, you can just relax for the time being. They have until next Wednesday to get everything planned out. If it isn’t good enough to pass Mrs. Johnson’s requirements, they’ll have to do something else.”

“Mom I’m telling you, I’m not doin’ it.”

“Daddy and I have discussed it. And, yes you are. It’ll help you with all this body shyness.”

I vocalized my thoughts. I was pissed. “What do you guys want? Do you want me to be naked all the time? Do I need to walk around the block naked? Will that make you get off my back? I’m not letting them make me do whatever they want because of some science project. Come on Mom, it isn’t fair. Let them use Teddy. He’ll get naked for them even without a science project.”

At that point my initial anger had caused me to start crying as I stomped off to my bedroom.

Mom came into my room as I lay on my bed sniffing back my nasal drip from crying. “it would only be for a month or so, we’re not going to let the girls keep the project going past the end of January. Isn’t that when she said it had to be done?”

I pouted out, “Yes.”

Mom slid her hand up my shirt and rubbed my back in an effort to calm me.

It feels good. She thinks she can get me to change my mind. But that isn’t going to do it. A backrub in exchange for Susan and Crystal seeing and feeling and God knows what with my boy parts. Uh, un ah. That’s out of the question.

I can feel it. I’m getting myself together. I’m calming down.

“I don’t want them seeing my penis. They can find something else to do for a project. It doesn’t have to be about boys’ privates. That’s just disgusting Mom.”

“Listen, they’re little girls. They’re curious about penises and scrotums and testicles. You’d be helping them learn. They aren’t going to hurt you. I think you would get some good things from it too. You’d certainly have to give up a lot of that modesty. It’s not healthy for young boys to have as much modesty as you have. Listen, I put a lot of effort into getting their project idea accepted. You trust Mrs. Johnson, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want her seeing my privates either.”

“Well she listened and warmed up to the idea. She even made a list of things the girls might use to present their study. But, let’s not get the cart before the horse. They have to put together their ideas and submit them Monday. Mrs. Johnson will review them and either give the go ahead or tell them to plan something else.”

I should be so lucky. We both know you and Mrs. Johnson will help them fix up anything they did wrong. You and Mrs. Johnson are as happy about making me be naked as Susan and Crystal are. You think I don’t see it.

After patting me two or three times on my backside for reassurance, Mom left my bedroom. I remained prone on my bed and replayed the whole scenario.

An hour later, I felt emotionally ready to come out of my room. I wandered down the hall. As I got to the foot of the stairs…

That’s Susan’s voice. Who’s she talking too? Oh, there’s Crystal’s voice. What are they talking about? Just sit here on the landing and listen. Who am I kidding I know what they’re talking about…

“How about we make him stay naked in the yard. We can measure his wiener in the house and write down the temperature and then make him go outside naked for an hour and measure it outside. We write down the temperature from out there too.”

“You think an hour is long enough?”

Mom threw them a leading question, “You girls might want to consider his body temperature both when he’s in the house and after he’s been outside for that hour, too. I’m thinking Dr. Martinez could recommend a method for taking is temp. Who knows anal? Oral? He might even suggest shoving the thermometer into his urethra.”

Crystal wasn’t a bit shy, “What’s that? His what?”

“His urethra. It starts at his pee slit on the tip of his glans and runs up to his bladder.” Mom tried to clarify.

“What’s a glans?” my loving sister asked.

“I can see we’ll have to start by teaching you the proper names of your brother’s boy parts. We can work on that tomorrow night after dinner. I’ll see if we I can’t download some illustrations for you.”

Oh thanks, Mom. You’re excited about it aren’t you. If only you knew I’m listening. I don’t know why they’re even talking about it. I’m not going to let them do any of it.

The whole idea was exciting Crystal. She just said, “Oh, that’d be fun.”

Mom explained, “Okay let’s put together your hypothesis. We need to tie the hypothesis to state what you think you’ll find. What do you think you’ll find?”

Crystal was simplistic, “That boy’s penises shrink when they get cold.”

Susan was a bit indignant, “We already know that. What about, doe’s shrinking have anything to do with how cold it is? I mean if it’s only a little cold, will his penis shrink a little or will it shrink a whole lot?”

Mom felt the need to clarify, “You could hypothesize boys’ penises retract in proportion to temperature. That means their penises shrink, as you put it, different amounts. If it’s real cold, their penises will shrink more than if it’s just cool outside. But you have no way of controlling the temperature outside. I think you need to be more general about it. How about how long does it take for boys’ penises and testicles to react to sudden temperature changes hot to cold?”

Susan had to spout, “Oh, Oh, you know what else we can try? We can try to rub it to warm it up and see if it’ll grow more.” I don’t know if she was serious or just verbalizing something from her wish list.

“I’d like that. You mean I could get to rub your brother’s thing?”

Trying to be cute my sister added, “Well, for the sake of science.”

“You girls need to knock it off. You need to have your hypothesis and experimental design done for Mrs. Johnson. Monday’s soon to be upon us.”

The next day, I was sitting at the kitchen table working on my math homework. Mom was cutting potatoes for dinner. In struts Susan.

“Here’s our hypote…, hypoth…”

“Hypothesis” Mom clarified.

“Yeah, that. The colder it is outside the smaller boys’ penises and testicles shrink.”

She’s got that smug look on her face. It kind of says, “Drop the mike, I’ve nailed it.”

“I don’t know why you are working on that. I told you I’m not doin’ it.”

“Young man, you just sit there and work on your homework. I’ll decide what you’ll do and you’ll do it if I say so. Enough of the arguing.”

Well that was not good. She’s pissed and now she’ll make me do it to prove her point.

“Okay, Roger, here’s what the girls are planning. Go ahead read it.” Mom pushed the notebook lined page at me.

I read it silently and I could feel my face blushing at the thought of what they had written….

Hypothesis- The colder it is outside the more a boy’s penis shrinks.

Method- Boy’s penis and rectal temperatures, house temperature, boy’s penis and scrotum measures taken before outdoor play. Boy to spend one hour completely naked outside in snow. Outside temp recorded. After hour outside, penile and rectal temperature as well as penis and scrotal measures are to be recorded prior to reentering the house. Measure penis length every fifteen minutes upon returning to home set at 70 degrees to check gradual return to normal.

Having read it, I angrily shoved it back at her I tearfully pled, “Mom, let Teddy to do it. He doesn’t care. I’m too old to do it.” Still had a chip on my shoulder.

“Your penis and scrotum are larger than Teddy’s. It’ll be easier for them to measure and keep track of.”

I can’t believe you just said that, Mom. Now you’ve got the idea that whole “Long Dong” thing is hitting me again just in a different form. Besides, Teddy’s is big enough to measure. Susan and Crystal have pulled on it for years. I know I’ve caught them doin’ it.

“Mom, I’m not kidding. I’m not going to do it. Teddy’s is fine and he doesn’t mind them seeing him naked or pulling on his dic.. penis,” to add a sting to the revelation I added, “does he Suuuussssan?”

Mom dropped the paring knife, took on a frustrated attitude, and asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means when you aren’t around Susan and Crystal feel Teddy’s penis all the time. And, if you are home, they take him outside somewhere and make him get naked. Then they rub it, they pull on it, they squeeze his balls. Sometimes they have a bunch of their friends there too. You haven’t seen it? Ask Teddy.”

Susan was pale at the outing of her activities with our young brother. She immediately offered a whining explanation in an obvious attempt avoiding Mom’s inquisition. “We’re only teasing him. We don’t hurt him or anything.”

Surprisingly Mom turned on me. Me! She so much as ignored the report of the sex play, or at the very least didn’t care. Instead she pointed right at me and said, “That’s it. You are going to be the girls’ subject. I’ve had enough of your arrogance. You will be their project. And, you will spend the winter break completely naked unless Dad or I tell you to put something on. You want to play tough? Deal with that. Naked the whole winter break. I’ll get back to you on the rules, but one will definitely be that you have to let the girls touch, measure, or whatever as much as they want.”

Get that shit eating grin off your face Susan. I can see you want to clap with glee. Keep it up and I’m going to hit you. I’ve got three days to try to change Mom’s verdict. It doesn’t look very promising.

The following Sunday, I was summoned to the living room. I had an audience of Crystal and Susan, my little brother and my mother.

Mom called out, “Roger, come in here and strip naked. We’re going to get started with the experiment.”

“I don’t want to do it. I’m not doing this.”

“If I need to get Daddy’s belt and whip the fire out of you, I’ll do it. When he gets home, I’ll ask him to do a follow up. You will be naked for both. Now, get your clothes off right here and I don’t want to hear another word.”

Better do it. It’s inevitable it’s going to happen no matter how much of a fight. Besides, if she whips me and then Dad whips me the girls will really love it. Oh shit, my dick is getting hard. Talk about embarrassing it’ll be hard and the girls will love that.

“Do I have to take everything off?”

“Yes, everything.”

Both girls and even Teddy are stifling giggles. This is embarrassing. Go slowly. Maybe Mom will stop me before I’m naked and she’ll forget about it. Shirt first. Winter time, it’s a button shirt, that’ll buy some time. Take your time unbuttoning it.

Look, Mom’s holding out her hand for my shirt. She does look impatient. Too bad, I’m going to take my time. I’m in no hurry.

She just kind of snatched my shirt. Those three are still glued to my movements and are on the verge of giggling. One sock, two socks, kick them so Mom as to reach for them.

It’s the beginning of showtime. Take your time with the belt buckle. Act like you’re having trouble.

“Quit lolli-dolling. Get the clothes off! Do you need help?”

“No.” I pouted.

Slide the damned belt out of the loops. It’ll delay this for a few seconds. Hand it to Mom. My dick is still hard as a rock. It doesn’t like that it’ll be on display to all these people in a minute or two. Thinking about it is making it even stiffer.

Unbutton the jeans. Unzip them slowly. Push them down. My hard-on is tenting my briefs. It’s signaling Mom that maybe she should wait. Young kids and all. She’s just holding out her hand for my pants. Slowly take them off each leg. Geeezzzzz, Mom, I’d give them to you no reason to snatch them from me.

I’m going to stop here and see if she really means naked. Better take my hands away from the front. Maybe she’ll see the tent and suggest we wait a while.

“Underpants too.”

So much for that. Oh, my dick just bounced up and down. Crystal just broke the stifle. She giggled with excitement. Quick cover it up.

“Put your hands down. How can the girls do their assignment without seeing your penis? Don’t worry it’ll settle down in a couple of hours. You’re just excited about being naked.”

Better move your hands. She’ll use a belt. I know she will.

“I want your penis to be clearly in view of anyone who might be here. So when you sit, make sure your legs are spread wide and your hands aren’t in front of your boy parts. Got it?”

Is that a tear trickling down your face? It is. Quit being such a wimp. Act like it isn’t embarrassing.

“Did you hear me?”

“Yes!”

“Here’s a towel. Make sure that you put this on any furniture or the carpet before you sit down. I need for you to report to me immediately after any bowel movements so I can check and clean if needed.”

Not only is it embarrassing, but it’s really humiliating now. She could have waited to say that.

“This evening, I’ll teach you girls how to measure and take his temperature so you can start tomorrow. In the meantime, it wouldn’t hurt for you to get better acquainted with Roger’s penis. He’ll sit right here, spread his legs, and you can feel his boy parts. It’ll make it easier if you have touched him down there a little bit. Rub, pull, lightly pinch him but try not to hurt him.”

She’s patting the chair. She wants you to sit.

“Can I feel it too?”

Mom sprouted a big grin, “Yes, Teddy, you can feel it too. I think you’ll find it is pretty much like yours only bigger.”

Crystal was sleeping over with Susan. After dinner the food and dishes put away, Mom and Dad summoned all of us to the living room. Mom was going to introduce the fine art of data collection. She took the girls to the house thermostat and showed them how to record the house temperature. She opened a plastic container and pulled out a cloth measuring tape, calipers from Dad’s workbench, a new thermometer, a bottle of alcohol, a small jar of Vaseline, and a stopwatch. It didn’t look good for me.

“Daddy put an outside thermometer on the porch. When you girls start, you write down the inside temperature. Then you take this tape. Come here Roger.” I stumbled over with a great deal of reluctance. “Put the end up against where his penis is connected, cradle his penis and look at the mark where his tip ends. See?” The girls leaned over to examine the end point.

“How long is it, Crystal?”

“Three and, and, a, a little bit longer than three inches.”

“How much longer? You have to be as exact as you can be.”

“Three and a quarter?”

“We’ll call it three and an eighth inches. We write the time down, whether it’s erect or flaccid. Flaccid means soft. Erect means hard. You might even use an ‘f’ or an ‘e’ at the end of the measurement. And, write down how long it is across from the date and inside air temperature. So, what we have at 7:11 p.m. on December 17 is 70 degrees, and his penis is flaccid, soft, and is 3 and an eighth inches. See? Okay what else should we do?”

Mom paused as my penis came alive. “Well it was an ‘f’ but it’ll soon be an ‘e’. We can record both measures after it stretches out a bit.”

Mom? You didn’t need to call their attention to that.

“Maybe take some pictures of it and him? I would love to have some pictures of him naked. We can put them on our display and I could show them to other kids in our class.”

Shit Susan you could have gone all day and not suggested that. No fucking pictures. That isn’t going to happen.

“That might be helpful for your final display. If you want pictures. we can take pictures. George, what do you think? Could you take some pictures of our naked son for their final display?”

“Sure, I’d be glad to take some pictures.”

DAD! What in the hell are you thinking?

“Now let me show you how to take his temperature. Because we’re centering on one particular area of his body, I think we should get our data from that general area. This is a digital thermometer that can be used for anything body centered. You take the alcohol on a cotton ball and wipe it off thoroughly. Dip the tip in the Vaseline, put a little on your finger. Roger, lie here and pull your knees up to your face.”

I think I know what she’s about to do and I don’t want any part of it.

“George, he’s being a pain in the ass. Would you help me?”

“Roger, did you hear your mother? Get down on the floor and pull your legs up, or do I need to help you?”

Better do it. His help could, would, be very painful.

“Okay girls, you put a little dab on his butt hole. Just like this. Then take the thermometer and insert it right in there. Should slide in easily. Shove it in about two inches or so. See?”

I have to admit it didn’t hurt, but it feels a little weird.

“I’d leave it in there for two or three minutes, but you can see the numbers are rolling along rapidly.”

How long do I have to stay in this humiliating position? Oh look, Teddy’s curiosity has gotten the best of him. He’s hovering over Mom’s shoulder. Wanna try it little brother? I bet you wouldn’t find this comfortable.

“See, 99.1. That’s a little high, but not really as rectal measures are often a little higher. So see the “A” on the log? Put 99.1 right under the A. George would you show the girls how to measure his scrotum with the caliper?”

Dad knelt down and gently pressed the points on the caliper first side to side and then placed them on the measuring tape. Okay, it looks like the testicles are about two and three eighths inches wide, and…”

I could feel the sharp points as they lightly poked my ball sack.

“Two and a quarter inches long. Here Susan you try.”

Shit. She stuck me with the damned points. “Owwww!”

Amused, Dad cautioned her, “Easy Susan. You don’t have to stick him. Be gentle. You and Crystal can practice on him after your mother finishes.”

“Here’s another temperature measure you might want to take. First, clean the thermometer with alcohol, dab a bit of Vaseline on the tip. Take his penis in your hand, gently pinch the tip until his urethra opens. See?” She turned to survey her audience, which at this point included Dad. “And stick it in there. About an inch. Be sure the silver tip on the thermometer is completely in there. He might feel a bit of pain, but it’ll go away while you wait.”

“Owww, shit, Mom, oooowwww, it hurts get it out!”

“Give it a couple of seconds, Roger. It’ll stop hurting.”

She unplugged the thermometer from my flaccid dick. Under the circumstances, no way it was going to get hard. “Okay, stopped at 98.7. That’s lower than his rectal temp, but it’s in the ball park. Record that in the log under the ‘P’. And, that’s it, girls. Now you, will do this right before you send him outside. Then we’ll collect all the same stuff before he comes in the house after he’s been outside playing in the snow for an hour. Think you can do that?”

Dad, added, “If you want pictures, let me know.”

“I think we need some close-up of his penis being measured and certainly the ball sack measurements. It wouldn’t hurt to get some of the anal and penile temperature methods as well.”

MMMOOOOMMMM! Quit giving him, them, ideas.

“I think you girls need to make him go out twice a day. Morning and evening. It should be about the same times each day. I know you won’t understand this, but you need to limit your variables so I’d recommend the very same times each day. There’s something you should have to learn. Find out what variables means.” She went on, “Mrs. Johnson wants you to try seeing if rubbing his penis and scrotum after he comes in from the cold to see if it makes him get back to normal quicker. First, you have to establish a non-massage baseline. We’ll do the rubbing stuff after the first ten days without.”

“I wanna rub it too!”

Shit Teddy, give it a rest are you gay or something?

“Teddy, this is the girls’ project. You need to stay out of it.” Obviously, Mom was getting frustrated with him. “I’ll make Roger let you play with his penis some other time. I just wish you’d get it out of your system.”

The project would go on for a solid month. The worst part of the whole thing was the night of the PTA meeting when all science projects were on display. Susan and Crystal had a bunch of enlarge photos of me naked and most had me sporting a hard-on. Needless to say, it drew a crowd of parents and other students who stood there taking in all the embarrassing images, very few commenting on the data or description of the project. But they sure liked the pictures—close ups of my penis being measured and the body temperatures being taken. Oh, the photos of me rolling naked in the snow also amused them, but the thermometer shoved in my dic…, I mean penis, was among their favorites.

Really, the sharp pins on the calipers stabbing my scrotum was also a bit painful. I think they liked sticking me. There wasn’t an attempt to avoid doing so at any time.

I do believe their A was awarded based mostly on those pictures. I’m no expert, but the data collection was sloppy. Their recording sheet were cited as well organized (thanks to Dad and Excel).

(End of File)